I've been told time and time again that I'm going to hell for not believing in God. If it turns out that you morons are right and God is real, here's the conversation I would have to get out of going to hell.
Me: "I'm sorry God, I'm not going to hell because I don't believe in hell. I don't believe in you, either."
God: "What do you mean? I'm right in front of you."
Me: "I'm sorry, but I don't believe in you. No amount of evidence will convince me otherwise."
God: "It doesn't matter what you believe. I'm real. You're talking to me right now."
Me: "I'm offended. You need to respect my beliefs, no matter how absurd they are. Even if my opinion goes against all logic and reasoning, it's still my opinion and should get special privileges just for having it."
God: "This is ridiculous. Go to hell."
Me: "I can't. Hell doesn't exist. You don't exist."
God: "Are you retarded?"
Me: "I don't believe in you. You aren't real."
God: "You can't be serious. I'm right in front of you. It's impossible to deny that I'm real."
Me: "Sorry, your 'indisputable facts' go against what I believe, so I'm not listening to you."
This is the logic that God's people use, so he'll have to accept it.
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Miss Allbright: Hell is a terrible place. Maggots are your sheet, worms your blanket, there's a lake of fire burning with sulfur. You'll be tormented day and night for ever and ever. As a matter of fact, if you actually saw hell, you'd be so frightened, you would die. Bart:[raises his hand] Oh, Miss Allbright. Miss Allbright: Yes, Bart. Bart: Wouldn't you eventually get used to it, like in a hot tub? Miss Allbright: No. Bart raises his hand again Miss Allbright: Yes, Bart. Bart: Are there pirates in hell? Miss Allbright: Yes. Thousands of them. Bart: [rubs his hands] Hoo hoo, baby! [spoiler]Seriously though, the whole notion about god is so arbitrarily asserted that I don't even consider the possibility as reality. [/spoiler]