There's a few stories that pertain to my old teachers that nothing to do with school but I'm gunna tell em anyways. It was a small remote town school with only 300+ students so news gets around pretty easily. So anyways at the end of every school week the teachers would get together and have a little get together. Now these aren't your lame wine and cheese party's. They would full on get pissed. My old p.e teacher made his own tequila and my science teacher made his own beer so they were essentially stocked with alcohol every week. First story is about my p.e teacher. He was a bit of a lariken when he got drunk and he got the great idea of doing a nudie run with nothing but shoes and a box to cover his cock. What makes this story even better is that they all took pictures of him doing the run. They made shirts with the pictures of his arse doing the run. How do I know this you ask? The idiot got the great idea of putting the images on the Internet. Second story is pretty much the same but a bit funnier. So my p.e teacher being the dag that he is dared another teacher to run a nudie and my science teacher wanting to make people laugh too decided to do a nude run this time around he essentially had nothing on but a beer in his hand. As he was just getting down the driveway he slipped on some moss, fell down and dislocated his elbow. He was lying on his back cock and balls in full view for his audience rocking back and forth in pain. Let's just say he learned from his mistake. He tries to cover it up and say that he fell from a ladder but that's just because he'd get fired if he told the truth. Another juicy little story. Another old p.e teacher I had for my first year in secondary school was a strict guy. He ran drug forums at the school to warn kids of drugs. Led a student mentor program and taught us the dangers of social media. Why is this relevant you ask? Well, a couple years after he changed school he became a principal at another school and one night when he was drunk he sexually assaulted a young woman. He is now in jail for the next 8 years or so. These aren't really good stories but I thought they were funny enough to share.

The best thing that happened to me was getting a small loan of a million dollars.

In my senior year I witnessed a band kid throw a full can of mountain dew into the back of some bully jock's head. Knocked the guy out . 10/10.

Giant inflatable monkey (the type you see at car dealerships), was stolen from one of the local car dealerships. Found in the morning on top of the cafeteria. By far the best senior prank at my school.

>On school coach to British Museum >Pissing about with friends >Extremely long journey, starting to get bored >Nobody knows how long the ride will last >THISISNOTWORTHIT.PNG >Head to back of coach >Easy 8/10 sitting alone >Dont-blam!-ThisUp.jpg >Open mouth to speak >“Oh, hey. You come here often?” >Regret opening mouth >Grill smiles >Everyone in the area is looking at me >Thinking what to say now >Offered to sit down >Nearly at Museum >ThisIsAwkward.png >Have to sit down before I look any more stupid >Embarrased.jpeg >Finally get to museum >Lazy ass teacher tries to get everyone into single file >“One line, for Christ sake!” >OMGF worst teacher award goes to this bitch >Reach Security post thingy >Everyone’s bags get searched >Vanilla pudding gets pulled out my bag >“Eugh.” Security guards don’t like vanilla pudding apparently >Return to group on other side of bag search line, kids walk over to me >“You like vanilla pudding? WTF?” >Bitch needs a kick in the teeth >Order the bastards to back off before I unleash the Dragon >"Do you know who I am, bitch?" he says >You’re gonna get it now, mother fuсker >Walk right up to his face >Assess where to do the most damage >Let the battle commence >Karate kick to the neck, he’s out for the count >Thatwentbetterthanexpected.gif His buddies come at me all at once >Easy 8/10 girl runs over to help >Damn, son – she’s a black belt in taekwondo >Intervention.png >Not even Chuck Norris could have unleashed the amount of devastation she did to the pricks >“Oh, shit” >Security guards come over and arrest us both for assault. >All this happened because they dissed my vanilla pudding >Undoubtable, the worst part of the whole experience was that I was on a 3 and a half hour coach ride to go to a museum that I was in for 2 minutes >Recollecting the memories of my past, it might have been worthwhile to tell you to read the first letter of every sentence

4th grade- Janitor arrested for sneaking into ceiling tiles and looking at girls in bathroom 5th grade- kid nearly blows up bathroom. He yanks paper clip out of light switch, and gets shocked big time. Lights go out immediately, then explode right above us. One kid got caught on fire. 6th grade- nothing really happens 7th grade- kid gets hit by a car, kid launches pudding up all over cafeteria ceiling (several times), I make the first signature "pen-gun", and sold them for $5 each. I shot one 30 ft up into my theatre ceiling, and we all get busted because some snitch told on us for laughing too hard. Later that year, 7 more pens were hanging from the cafeteria ceiling. Major fight, need gets bullied, and then destroys this kids face and stomps on it. Reeeeeally funny tbh. 8th grade- high school hockey game; student section throws 3 fish onto the rink, all 200 of the students have to be evacuated lol. Kid throws meatball the size of a softball across cafeteria. That led to a food fight. Kid places tampon covered in ketchup on toilet seat in boys bathroom. Kid pulls fire-alarm right during dismissal. We have to stand outside in the pouring rain. Thanks kid... Science teacher blows up sodium oxide (or something like that) and it gases up the entire room. We have to evacuate even though it wasn't even poisonous. 9th grade- We'll find out...

You just lost the game.

I thought I saw 2 people having sex in a bathroom stall, there was a male voice grunting loudly and a female voice saying indiscernible words. Under the stall there was a pair of male and a pair of female legs. I tell the vice principal about this, he looks over the security footage, turns out it was a special ed kid who was mute (explaining the grunting) and his assigned monitor (explaining the female voice/legs).

This was yearsss ago, before I was even at my current school. On the last day, some of the people graduating pranked the teachers by releasing three pigs into the school, one had the number 1 on it, the second had the number 2 on it, and the third had the number 4 on it. So when the teachers got all three pigs they were still running around searching for one with a three on it.

Someone replaced all screensavers in the library with hardcore hentai. Thing is, he set the screensaver to appear after two hours and last five minutes. We actually thought the school handled it quietly until one day after an assembly, we heard the news from some sophomores about the library. Keks were had for weeks.

ELIZABETH TAYLOR

Kid commit suicide after first period today at my old school so funny you ask

>be me > middle school >8th grade >8th grade field trip >Great America >-blam!-yea.png >there's 2 kids everyone hates >lets call the K and J >K has anger issues but is a dick to everyone >J is just stupid and barely managed to graduate >the popular group of kids decided to get these 2 back for all they have done >at Great America >be in line for really nice ride >see K and J hanging out with the popular kids just 2 families ahead of me >I knew I would have not make it into the next cart which is about 12 people(3 rows 4 seats) >bribe families with 5 dollars each >worthit.gif >get in the middle row somehow >K and J in front of me at the front row >surrounded by 2 popular kids that did Tae Kwan Do >in my row are the rest >ride starts >our group is climbing the hill pretty quickly before dropping >worst time to have an erection >at the top >K and J got punched in the face a few seconds before we dropped >even while dropping, they still knocked the fûcked out >theyneedsomemilk.mov >they end up with purple eyes and bruises faces >at the camera shot you could see me laughing >was last day of school >none of them got in trouble neither did I >well wasted 10 dollars

A school shooting

Back when I was in secondary school (high-school to the Americans) my friendship group and I kinda always followed each other during breaks and such and if a particular person decided to go one way then the rest would follow... Right exposition over, now into the story... One day while standing around in a little locker/ lobby ish area my mate Callum (appropriately nicknamed "Pillock") decided to walk in the direction of one of the corridors. He didn't however, see the doors through to the corridor were closed - somehow... He said he focussed on the corridor through the window - (the small 30cmx30cm window at head height which has metal wires running as a mesh throughout it) He smacked into it face first... To make it even better it wasn't the kind of walk into door scenario where he just turns around, takes one step and walks into it. No that would be too simple. He was right on the other side of the room and marched full steam ahead, face planting (kinda) straight into the door...

Some kid took a scalpel from a science class and cut off his nipple. He then later ate it for $20

Guy made a makeshift machete in metal work and sold it too a year 8 for enough money to buy a mcflurry and when questioned about it responded by saying have you ever had a mcflurry they're worth two machetes