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11/11/2015 2:01:13 AM
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Man Flicks Booger On Cop's Windshield, Brutally Wedgied!

In an act of anti law enforcement protest, LA resident Jafaris Devon flicked what authorities described as "an offensive snot bomb" directly onto a squad car's windshield. A high speed chase ensued lasting forty minutes, involving police from 3 counties as well as local autobots. The pursuit ended when a local illegal immigrant, Speedy Gonzales, rapidly erected a road block. Upon pinning Devon to the ground, officers began applying what bystanders described as "an excessive wedgie." Devon, accused of reckless driving and resisting a wedgie is now incarcerated with bail set at $100,000. "I thought m' balls was going to blow!" Devon breathlessly shouted to reporters as he was shoved into a squad car. Friends describing themselves as "Devon's Hommies" have started a campaign called: "blackballschatter." "We are all chatterin!" Devon's mother told Anthropic press. "We are going to get him home!"

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