Why not cabbage? Life is like a cabbage: Sometimes it is green and crunchy, sometimes dad stabs the cat with a knife because his foot ball team lose again Life is like a cabbage: sometimes it is green and round, and sometimes mom wish you were never born If you throw a cabbage in the air he will alway come right back down to you because he is lonely without you. If there is a fire in your house make sure you save all the cabbages before you even think about finding your children A cabbage does not wear a watch but he always have time for you Instead of drinking coffee in the morning try laying down with a cabbage on your stomach and you will be wide awake trust me If you push a cabbage under water he will alway float right back up to the top because he miss you so much A cabbage does not have ears but that does not mean that he is immune to your lies Some time you think about a cabbage and you get so excited that forget to go to sleep again for five days Sometimes you hate your life and dont want to be alive anymore but then you think about cabbage and know that everything will be ok You can paint a cabbage green but that is a waste of paint because he is already green you idiot If you run out of pillows maybe try using a cabbage You can tell a cabbage has gone bad if he is wearing a leather jacket if you are sad put a cabbage in your back pack and carry him every where so it feel like you have a friend that want to spend time with you A cabbage is so pretty but you are real ugly You can ask a cabbage for financial advice but he will not say any thing because he is a cabbage You can put a cabbage on the hood of your car. People will not under stand what you are doing but at least you are doing some thing If you put plastic eyeballs on a cabbage and take him to the movies it might feel like you have a friend I hate my life Dr. Suess did not ever make a poem about cababge And now he is dead A cabbage can not get pregnant believe me I tried You can put a cabbage in a baby carriage amd take him for a walk and people will say "who this" and you can say "he is my cabbaby" If you want to trick your parents put a cabbage on your pillow at night and they will think you are sleeping but you are actually crying