Don't even bother justifying that you -blam!-. You said you "just don't understand the logic"...and that's because to an outsider it seems as if there's no real logic to it. However, she's operating in survival mode, which does require SOME logical thinking. Also, she's psychologically ill from having lived in that situation for so long. There are many reasons she might stay. Fear is a big one. Most women fear that if they leave, the abuser will follow...that he won't let her go peacefully. He might threaten her, stalk her, assault her further, or even kill her. Most women who are killed by their abusers are killed during the act of trying to leave the relationship...or shortly thereafter. It's a big myth that a woman is in more danger staying than leaving. Leaving is most dangerous. And there are other reasons, too. She may have developed depression, anxiety disorders, post traumatic stress, alcoholism/drug addiction (self-medicating that turns into full blown addiction). She's likely been isolated and cut off from family and friends over time, and now she has no one to turn to for help or protection or support. She may have not been allowed to work outside the home, and to leave would mean she has to find a way to support herself (with no job skills, no job experience, and likely she has children who will be depending on her, as well). She doesn't know anything different. She fears she will never have a normal life. She is numb. She does not feel pain and horror toward her situation the way that someone else would. She's not mentally healthy. She mistakenly thinks that keeping the family together is better (for the kids) than getting a divorce or separation. She mistakenly thinks if she loves him enough he will change. She believes him when he says he'll change. She knows he really does love her. She does not understand that even though this may be true, he is not capable of making those changes. She over-estimates her ability to control the situation. She figures if she can just make sure she doesn't do anything to upset him, they can all live in peace. It takes a long time to understand that no matter what she does or does not do, he will still react unrpredictably and violent toward her. It is also often very difficult to trust other people enough to let them in to her situation to help her. Often the abuser is a master at manipulation. He will have everyone else believing that SHE's the "crazy one." He may even try to take her kids away from her. He'll play head games. He'll do whatever he feels is necessary to control her, to keep her from leaving him. And yes, sometimes embarrassment is a factor, but generally not the biggest factor. It's just one more tiny straw on a huge pile that's already there. After being abused, isolated and so forth for so long, a woman has nothing left inside. She doesn't know who she is. She doesn't know what she wants. She has no self-esteem. She can't make decisions. She's easily confused. She's truly at her weakest point. Trying to leave is a monumentally HUGE step to try and make when one is in this kind of psychological and physical state. It's amazing to me that some get out at all. - https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070820154551AA0hZmq