I've had some horrible years too sadly. Just hang on there and find something you love to do to Free you mind, better times will come eventually. What helped me a lot was riding my motorcycle and the feelings of pure freedom and being one with machine and nature. (The motorcycle community is very friendly, helpfull and chill compared to these mostly toxic game forums) motovloggers are also something I watch to relax.
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Not really a motorcycle guy but Thanks :)