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10/28/2015 12:20:37 PM
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I had the weirdest dream last night...

>be me >wake up in school >don't remember coming to school this morning >in fact I don't really remember much of this morning >I get up from my desk >spot stains on the floor >There's dried blood on the floor >papers scattered everywhere >a message is on the board >"The infection spread. Oh god help us" >what infection? >Walk out into hall >completely silent >The vents rattle as I step towards the stairs >is someone crawling in them? >continue walking >tumblrweeds rolling around >find another person in hallway >An eerie feeling tells me to turn around >"Greetings brethren!" >the person had spotted me and was speaking now >"Leafing so soon?" >assume he speaks with lisp >Ask what he's talking about >He's confused >"are you not part of the army?" >no idea what he's saying >"hisssss?" >stays silent >suddenly I remember who they are >he knows I know >Oh god... >he unleashes a mighty screech >hundreds of reptilians come crawling out of the walls >shitshitshitshitshit.jpg >Run to first floor >exits blocked >distant sound of hissing >Running for life >End up in lunch room >Lizard man over speakers >"You won't be leafing here alive" >hundreds of lizard people begin attacking >Realize that half of these people are just kids. >Run for stairs >They continuously throw boots and other shit at me >MFW they've booted me off the stairs >The squad of lizards continues pursuing as I escape for the basement floor >Run into boiler room >reptilian in a mask appears >assume he is the leader >He states his name is "Rept" >because of course it is >He wants to play a game >He explains that we are to have a fight to the death in the large boiler room >He lays out a series of weapons >He takes a flame thrower >I take a sword and a shield >He laughs >determined to end the infestation of hissing reptilians >We begin the fight >He pulls the trigger on the flame thrower >it launched >Block entire -blam!-ing thing with the metal shield >Didn't even get damaged >Rept is confused >Proceed to whack him in the side with the sword >he falls >As I approach him I notice there is a symbol on the shield I had not recognized before >He had painted the illuminati symbol onto the shield >the sword also has the Mountain Dew logo on it >don't know why >He asks how I was not harmed >how the shield remained intact >look him in the eye as I cut off his head >"Rept fuel can't melt dank memes" >wake up in home >It's safe >Hear hissing outside room >Become concerned >open door >get on the floor >everybody walks the dinosaur

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  • You pinhead, I love chocolate how dare you think that I'm an ugly barnacle. I'm going to use my imaaaaaginaaaation to imagine you in your underpants and take out my secret string to firmly grasp it. You're going to fall over and scream Finland and then I'll proceed to call the Hash Slinging Slasher to come and LEEDLE LEEDLE LEE all over you. When that's done the Hall Monitor will put on his gorilla suit and get his friends chip, penny, and used napkin to whoop your Wumbo. When I'm done with you I'll return to the Salty Spitoon and make fun on Weeny Hut Juniors, you know the guys with the magic conch. I will spend my millionth dollar and first dime on a phone call to random people and scream NO, THIS IS PATRICK. Those people will be your family who don't live in darkness, but advanced darkness, and I will soil your Uncle Dirty Dan's good time. And I know that you love Crabby Patties so I will buy you mayonnaise from the musical instrument store. I will push your house somewhere else but I don't want to touch it because I'm sterile. Then I will ask your injured body if you are feeling it now and that you are number one, the doctor and I afterwards will go on a panty raid to smell that smelly smell that's smelly. And that's not when I shift into maximum overdrive to steal the formula. You best be scared.

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