>be me
>wake up in school
>don't remember coming to school this morning
>in fact I don't really remember much of this morning
>I get up from my desk
>spot stains on the floor
>There's dried blood on the floor
>papers scattered everywhere
>a message is on the board
>"The infection spread. Oh god help us"
>what infection?
>Walk out into hall
>completely silent
>The vents rattle as I step towards the stairs
>is someone crawling in them?
>continue walking
>tumblrweeds rolling around
>find another person in hallway
>An eerie feeling tells me to turn around
>"Greetings brethren!"
>the person had spotted me and was speaking now
>"Leafing so soon?"
>assume he speaks with lisp
>Ask what he's talking about
>He's confused
>"are you not part of the army?"
>no idea what he's saying
>"hisssss?"
>stays silent
>suddenly I remember who they are
>he knows I know
>Oh god...
>he unleashes a mighty screech >hundreds of reptilians come crawling out of the walls
>shitshitshitshitshit.jpg
>Run to first floor
>exits blocked
>distant sound of hissing
>Running for life
>End up in lunch room
>Lizard man over speakers
>"You won't be leafing here alive"
>hundreds of lizard people begin attacking
>Realize that half of these people are just kids.
>Run for stairs
>They continuously throw boots and other shit at me
>MFW they've booted me off the stairs
>The squad of lizards continues pursuing as I escape for the basement floor
>Run into boiler room
>reptilian in a mask appears
>assume he is the leader
>He states his name is "Rept"
>because of course it is
>He wants to play a game
>He explains that we are to have a fight to the death in the large boiler room
>He lays out a series of weapons
>He takes a flame thrower
>I take a sword and a shield
>He laughs
>determined to end the infestation of hissing reptilians
>We begin the fight
>He pulls the trigger on the flame thrower
>it launched
>Block entire -blam!-ing thing with the metal shield
>Didn't even get damaged
>Rept is confused
>Proceed to whack him in the side with the sword
>he falls
>As I approach him I notice there is a symbol on the shield I had not recognized before
>He had painted the illuminati symbol onto the shield
>the sword also has the Mountain Dew logo on it
>don't know why
>He asks how I was not harmed
>how the shield remained intact
>look him in the eye as I cut off his head
>"Rept fuel can't melt dank memes"
>wake up in home
>It's safe
>Hear hissing outside room
>Become concerned
>open door
>get on the floor
>everybody walks the dinosaur
-
B-But that's... HERESY!