Of all of the places to post this, you may have picked the worst.
I'm not sure if you're around here much, but we're the kind of people that, once a year, keep a thread about a dog showing up on a guy's porch at the top of the forum and make threads about things showing up on our porch. It's an annual holiday.
That post was made in 2004.
You're screwed, mate.
Your role as a moderator enables you immediately ban this user from messaging (bypassing the report queue) if you select a punishment.
7 Day Ban
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