True story... When I was 22 I was still living with my parents. I don't come from a family with a lot of money and Southern California is a pretty expensive place to live, so there were 6 of us living in a 2 bedroom apartment. (Now keep in mind that two of my younger siblings are in school and this happened on a week night). I slept in the living room with my dad ( parents are separated but still live together )... ( I know )... So one night I went out drinking with my friends and got completely smashed. Got back home probably around 3 or 4 so my dad was already at work. Well, drunken me is feeling pretty horny and needs a release. So I get Betsy. ( The name is another embarrassing story for another time ). Betsy is the Pocket Pu$$y I used to own. I grab Betsy and realize we have no lotion so I start thinking about another alternative. And then it hits me... olive oil. We're Italian so of course we have olive oil. I go to the kitchen and grab the bottle of olive oil, rip off my clothes like I was high on PCP, jump in bed and put on some porn, and douse Betsy in the oil as if I were cooking a gourmet meal. About an hour later I finish. I get my release. My head falls back to my pillow, my arms drop dead, and I make a terrible mistake. I close my drunken eyes. Around 11am I wake up to a marching band inside my head. My head is throbbing from last night's jager bombs and PBR's. My breath smells like Sailor Jerry himself. Yet despite the feeling of death, my body is experiencing an interesting sensation. It's cool and breezy. That's when I realize I'm naked. My heart stops. No. No. Please.... NO! I look to the side of my bed and see Betsy and her partner in crime, the bottle of extra virgin olive oil.... Then the silence hits me. Everyone in my house is gone. My mother, my brother, and my sister, my poor, 12 year old sister, had seen the aftermath. My naked body half covered in a blanket, engulfed by the stench of last night's booze and semen; my beloved Betsy at my side. Betsy... what have we done? Needless to say the rest of my life has been pretty awkward around them. It's been 3 years since that night and whenever I go to visit them I think about it... and just hope that they're not. [spoiler]If you wanna know more about Betsy and how she got her name just let me know :)[/spoiler]