I HAVE BEEN AT WORK FOR [b]THREE HOURS[/b] POURING OVER THE FORUMS [b][i]DYING INSIDE[/i][/b] WITH EACH THREAD I READ. [i]EACH POST IS A[/i] [b][i]FLICK TO THE [u]DINKLEBERRIES.[/u][/i][/b] IT HURTS BUT I CANNOT STOP. [b]I AM LIKE AN OBSESSIVE EX GIRLFRIEND.[/b] I NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHY [b]MIRANDA[/b] WOULD STAND OUTSIDE MY APARTMENT SINGING [i]BABY COME BACK[/i] FOR SIX MONTHS STRAIGHT [b]BUT NOW I KNOW.[/b] WHEN I GOT TO WORK MY BOSS CHEERFULLY SAID [i]"good morning, ponethepoon!"[/i] AND I SAID [b]"-blam!- YOU RANDY I HOPE YOUR WIFE TRIPS PLAYING SOFTBALL AGAIN AND [i]YOU CRASH ON THE WAY TAKING HER TO THE HOSPITAL"[/i][/b] [i]AND HE WAS CONFUSED AS -blam!-.[/i] HE JUST WENT AND SILENTLY CRIED IN HIS OFFICE. I EVEN [b]HAVE TO WORK LATE TODAY.[/b] TWO HOURS LONGER IS MY STRIFE. I WOULD RATHER [b]RECTALLY EAT A FULL TURKEY[/b] THAN BE HERE. [i]UNFORTUNATELY THAT WILL ONLY [i]FURTHER CONFUSE RANDY[/i][/i] AND THEN I'D BE [b][i]THAT GUY[/i][/b] THAT LUBED AND TOOK A TURKEY UP THE [b]CHIMNEY[/b] JUST TO PLAY XBOX EARLY. [b][i]GOBBLE GOBBLE SCRUBS.[/i][/b] WHILE YOU ARE ALL [b]PONING THE TAKEN[/b] I AM DESIGNING A SHIRT THAT SAYS [b][i]"MY FRO IS LIKE WHOA."[/i][/b] WHO THE -blam!- NEEDS THIS SHIRT. [i]MAYBE I'LL ACCIDENTALLY SLIP A [b]DRAGON BALL Z REFERENCE[/b][/i] ONTO THE SHIRT. YEAH THAT'D BE FUNNY. YOUR FRO GOT [b]NOTHIN[/b] ON GOKU. [b]I PRAY TO EVERYTHING HOLY[/b] THAT MY GIRLFRIENDS CAT ISN'T IN MY CHAIR [i]WHEN I GET HOME[/i] BECAUSE IT WILL BE [b]THE FIRST CAT TO BREAK THE SOUND BARRIER[/b] WHEN I LAUNCH IT WITH THE FORCE OF [b][i]ONE THOUSAND TORTOISES.[/i][/b] I USED THAT REFERENCE IN AN OLDER POST [b][i]THAT GOT NINJAED[/i][/b] SO WELCOME BACK THE TORTOISE QUOTE. [b]THERE IT IS. [/b] WHEN I AM FINALLY SITTING IN MY [b][i]GIGANTIC SWIVEL CHAIR[/i][/b] WITH NO PANTS ON I WILL [i]JOIN MY FRIENDS PARTY CHAT[/i] AND JUST YELL. [b]I WILL YELL AND THEY WILL UNDERSTAND. [/b] [b]SEE YOU ALL ON THE DREADNOUGHT [i]IN 9 HOURS.[/i][/b]