Arnold, or the guy who played the drill sergeant in full metal jacket!
English
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Lol the guy from major pain would be good
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R. Lee. Ermey
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Private guardian I'm gonna give you 3 seconds, exactly 3 fecking seconds to cover me opening this door or I will!......
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Out -blam!-ing standing.
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This is my guardian he has a gun! He does the fighting I..... Open doors........
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Is your selector switch stuck on stupid Guardian?
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A jelly donut? Wtf is that!
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Why thank you.... Lots more ideas along that vein