I have wandered into Trials every now and again since it came out. With each time ending in A) I'm never going to go flawless. B) This sucks I'm never doing this again. Each time, I erked closer to top of the mountain, but skill + communication with teams where below the required necessity to taste flawless glory. Not being a diehard PvPer my KD and DTR were not to the desired range for the elitists of lfg, so when my only real friend (roommate/grade-school pal. every other Destiny "friend" I've never met face to face.) on destiny found a way to best the 9-0 benchmark multiple times, I asked for his help...to realize that even he would banish me aside for not being worthy of his patience nor grind. I had given up all hope before 3 weeks ago due to my notion that with Black Ops beta being open, I stood a chance, since the good players of PvP would all be on that so I could sneak one in possibly . So I found a team who had a groove and didn’t mind helping…not carrying, a not so good player like me. I was no Michael Jordan on this bunch, not even the Scottie Pippen....I was the Luc Longley. I filled a third spot and every now and again I'd super a guy running around the corner to murder me. It wasn't pretty but my teammates willed us to 8-0, and then it happened...a notorious group of server switching ladies of the nights arrived. The kind of scum who can’t win a single match-up without the aid of the 4th man known as lag manipulation. We battled these goons, who even while under the influence of advantage, could not win as easily as one would imagine, finally submitting to their whoreish ways to a 5-3 loss. No sweat, as we used our forgiveness and moved on ready to face our next opponent. While in our haste to report these ball swallowing turds, we forgot to go to orbit and the worst scenario played out right in front of my eyes...we found ourselves in a repeat match with the same mouth breathers who had bested us with smoke and mirrors just a match previous. After a minor rage meltdown of the team, I gave my best Remember the Titans speech & we headed into battle. Mounting a 3-1 lead it seemed all but certain that I’d be seeing Mercury…finally. Of course the heavy ammo round was a circus, as it is impervious to try and shoot a teleoporting chump with a rocket launcher because tracking is useless when lag is in play. The next 3 round were not much different, as they continued to in-and-out-of-bandwidth us to our inevitable second loss of the passage…sending me to the reef with a mournful boots and non-adept messenger to purchase. Again my dreams were shattered leaving me to believe I’d never see flawless, unless I paid those opportunists who vulture on the weak such as myself. I had given up.
Upon the following weekly refresh, I avoided Trials…didn’t even open the Crucible area so I wouldn’t have to see that yellow eye and be reminded of what could have been. Then this past week came up & I heard rumor that this Trials would be the last for awhile, if not forever. I decided against the annoyance of my girlfriends wishes (I only try to play while she’s at work, because vagina is far more important to me then Mercury….or at least that’s what I tell her.)to give it one last hoorah. I spent all of Saturday and Sunday bouncing from teams who either A) booted me or B) had zero charisma & loss was inevitable. I spent an entire Labor Day weekend getting only as high as 8-2, but again feeling like all hope had left my body. Monday night I decided I would get on a team and it would be my last effort of all time, even made a blood pact with my girlfriend to keep myself loyal. I ended up spending nearly 2 hrs trying to get a group on LFG to pick me up. Until I was sent an invite from the most generous of humans I have ever had the privilege of playing with. I didn’t beg and plead for a carry on LFG, I laid it out there…I wasn’t a detriment, but I wasn’t the shot caller if that’s what a team was looking for. KDOT12321 & lowkey_XAVE saw my post and Trials was on. We won our first match in the feel out section of a new group but things looked swell as we obliterated the completion…the kind of win where even I felt like I had actually contributed to the cause. Second match we got bent over by some final round snipers…it was ugly but the forgiveness albeit early, was still keeping us unblemished in the loss column. We breezed to a 7-0 record under the leadership of our marksman KDOT and Warlock maestro lowkey. Not one round did we face a group where I fretted a defeat as the playing field was even & we just had it clicking on all cylinders. Even had the luck of the draw to face a group of only two, who fought valiantly but 2 vs 3 in crucible is never going to go well for the underdog.
….and then it happened. While checking the competition during our descent, red and yellow connection bars a-flicker. Panic sunk in quickly. “Guys, are you seeing this!?” I screeched. My nightmare had came back for another bukkake…lag fags, they had found me again. As I freaked, low and Kdot remained calm…”We got this KDOT pleaded” and I believed him. Up immediately 3-0, despite the best attempts of interwebs control by the lesser breed of humans, hope once again filled my body and for a moment I believed what KDOT had said…we really do got this. The heavy ammo round would go an epic to the wire area controlled decision, in favor at our disgust of the other team (it was rubbish, we’ve all been in a match where invincible players wreck havoc on the match). Before I knew it, our 3-0 lead was now a 4-3 deficit. With what seemed as a dubious task indeed, we found a way, to what I’m sure even surprised the other team to win behind a 3 on one 3 kill comeback from KDOT’s now infamous golden gun epitomizing the word clutch. Now at 4-4 I knew what we had to do. Considering low and I had wasted our supers in rounds previous & the chodes across the way had wasted theris as KDOT demoralized them with his hunter prowess. My blade dancer and his sunsliger supers were near loaded. A flash of brilliance hits me, I instruct low to change from his self-res to radiant skin and equip the deadly Ram helm. Low was to pop this tank of a super on my call as I would follow up behind him with a blade dancer and hopefully auto lock from my dance of blades would chop down any lag we’d knowingly face. To our surprise IT WORKED!!! I cut down two as low delivered the final blow with a beautiful cascade of scorch grenades. We had done it, we bested a cheater and won essentially in a bout of 4 vs 3. 8-0 was yet again on my passage…flawless was in my grip. I shouted “Orbit now!!!” and KDOT obliged.
We, at my instruction wait a few minutes so not to be paired with them again. The rest of this tale is rather lack luster. We stomped through the next matchup as we had prior to the battle for 8-0…and I yes me, the never-gonna-get-it guy, finally had a character touchdown and the sands of Mercury. Received an adept messenger and nearly wept. I did it once…and now I can say….I’ll NEVER do Trials again.
Moral of the story? Lag manipulation is for the Lummox’s of the world. Stay true and your dreams can be achieved.
-
Holy shit I can't read all of that I guess you got to the lighthouse. How long did it take you to type all of that?