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9/2/2015 5:20:06 PM
70

My internet girlfriend just broke up with me.

I loved her so much.. We used to send each other kissy emojis all day, and say stuff like "I luv u 5ver bby <3", but then one day she just quit replying to me.. I don't know what to do, I feel like my heart has been ripped from my chest, she was my reason for living! Sure we never met, but we meant something to each other.. Please.. What do I do? I just wanna sleep and never wake up..

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  • >first look at target >quickly look away >look back >assume crouching position >begin to crawl towards target >lay down in front of target >say I wish I had more time >stand up and begin to pull out dick >start flailing dick around >you have 7 minutes before police arrive > begin to smack everything in sight with dick >once the room has cleared and police arrive >yell it's ze Germans >throw grenade that you should always have handy >assume fetal position >wait until police get close >whisper to the police officer "riddle me this" >slowly get up and run out of the door >as police open fire yell these very important words >ALLUH AKBAR< >explode

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