>be me 21 yo, don't really belong to one group. >Finish work at around, 10pm and get a phone call from my friend Joker, (He's really called Jerry but he's been called Joker since grade school) >He's asking me to go to a bar with him, since I wasn't doing anything I decided -blam!- it why not? >Roll a few joints and meet with him at around 10:30, It's a friday night and we go to this bar that has theme nights. This one was the circus. Imagine guys on stilts, magicians, clowns etc >Joker can't drink for shit. 6 beers max and he's slurring his words and starts becoming a -blam!-. >About an hour into us being here, we decide to go for a smoke, Joker goes to take a piss and I don't see him for a while. Idgaf anyway as i'm talking to a pale red head who I think is really into me. >Me and her hit it off and go in to dance. As we're dancing I notices one of the dudes in the stilts struggling to walk.. >As i'm watching the dude trying to walk I notice Joker is standing on the guys shoes and asking him to walk him around >To be fair to stilts, he was trying to make light of whats going on, laughing and asking him politely to let go >Joker loses interest and lets go, but accidentally tugs on the guys leg. He knows what he's done, as does stilts. His fate has been sealed >Stilts starts leaning more and more to the left until he goes down and wipes out 3 girls posing for a photo, drink everywhere. Imagine 3 penguins trying to get up off a slippy floor. >By this point, Joker has blended into the crowd and is now dancing on his own with a pair of sun glasses that he didn't have before >I leave the girl and go and get Joker, telling him to stop -blam!-ing about, he just laughs, drinks his beverage and waddles back into the crowd >This night will not end well.. >It's around 1:30, stilts is back up although he now smells of chocolate tequila and bleach, the girls are sitting in a corner trying to cover the dirt on their asses from falling on the floor. >But joker is not yet finished >I realize that everytime I leave him, the skid mark does something else. But I really gotta take a piss >Leave him for 10 minutes and come back and go hunting for him. >Joker is a slippery bastard to catch, I decided to walk around the people dancing, hoping to find him. I eventually do, he's sitting down with about 10 different drinks taking a sip of each one before swallowing. >I ask him about it and he just looks at me and tells me that people are leaving their drinks, so he took them as well as someone phone >For f*ck sake Joker >I tell him to finish the drinks and that we'll be going soon >We go outside to the smoking area for the last time and notice that it's empty except for some hipster guy and his chubby gf as well as some bar staff dressed in clown outfits >We're at the back of the area having a smoke and I notice joker is playing about with his new phone, he starts f*cking about with the contacts and accidentally rings one. I >There aren't many people, but the sound of Wonderwall can be heard, I look to the hipster couple and see the ear gauged -blam!- reach into his denim coat and pull out his phone and answer it >Joker notices this as well and just looks at him and puts the phone to his mouth and whispers "Your girl takes more meat than a butcher you -blam!-" >Hipster gets visibly upset and looks around and see's joker on the phone and nudges his fudge girl and her eyes open >Joker, you - >"THATS MY PHONE, HE TOOK MY PHONE, GIVE ME MY -blam!-ING PHONE BACK" >Joker looks at me and giggles and begins running towards the exit thinking he can get passed the bar staff who are cleaning >One of the bar staff see's all the commotion and knocks joker flat on his ass, but joker ain't out of the fight yet.. >Bar staff begin to form around Joker, so they could make him exit the premises, bouncers haven't arrived yet. >Joker begins freaking out and clocks the guy grabbing him, right in the jaw >Clown goes down like a bag of spuds >Joker is screaming, the fat bitch is screaming, the bar man is out cold >Joker manages to get free and stampedes out of the smoking area with me quickly on his tail >We get out of the emergency exit and see that there are more -blam!-ing clowns coming for us and there are some in front of us putting garbage into the bins out back. >As we are making our way past them, the dude who joker hit rams into the back of him and pushes Joker up against the wall and they both begin to fight it out. >Joker can fight, but it's slowly turning in the dudes favor so I try to break it up and we're both about to go our separate ways when all I see is Joker hit the dude when I'm pushing them away. >They both get into it again and i'm sandwiched between them >There was clowns to the left of me >Jokers to the right >Here I am >Stuck in the middle with you