Before he was a Guardian, he was just Pickle F[i]u[/i]cker. You see, freshman year, the senior Guardians in Training would hunt us down and put us through what they called "initiations." They'd stuff us into lockers or throw us in the girl's shower room naked, but our fellow Guardian here got the worst of it. The seniors yanked down his pants and shoved a pickle up his a[i]s[/i]s and made him walk ten feet. If the pickle fell out before he hit the ten-foot mark, he had to take a bite of it, re-insert it, and walk again. But, don't worry. He made it. His pickle was small enough to stay wedged after only four bites.
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I can confirm this.