I am not what you think I am. After all these years I have been cowering under this one definite truth that I can no longer bear. The truth is that I am actually a pigeon. I would like to apologize to those I have hurt with this news and hope that we can look past this in the future.
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You and your kind are the rats of the sky, good only as sustenance for the larger, more majestic birds of prey. But we can still be friends.