[u][b]Steps to recovering from RNG loss.[/b][/u]
Guardians, keep in mind — all Guardians grieve differently. Some Guardians will wear their emotions on their sleeve and be outwardly emotional. Others will experience their grief more internally, and may not cry. You should try and not judge how a Guardian experiences their grief, as each person will experience it differently.
[b]1. Denial and Isolation[/b]
The first reaction to learning of not getting what you wish RNG would give you is to deny the reality of the situation. It is a normal reaction to rationalize overwhelming emotions. It is a defense mechanism that buffers the immediate shock. We block out the words and hide from the facts. This is a temporary response that carries us through the first wave of pain.
[b]2. Anger[/b]
As the masking effects of denial and isolation begin to wear, reality and its pain re-emerge. We are not ready. The intense emotion is deflected from our vulnerable core, redirected and expressed instead as anger. The anger may be aimed at inanimate objects, complete strangers, friends or family or even other Guardians. Anger may be directed at RNG directly. Rationally, we know RNG is not to be blamed. Emotionally, however, we may resent RNG for causing us pain.
Remember, grieving is a personal process that has no time limit, nor one “right” way to do it.
[b]3. Bargaining[/b]
The normal reaction to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability is often a need to regain control–
◾If only we could decode how RNG works
◾If only we could make RNG do what we want
◾If only we had a way to know what RNG would give us
◾If only Bungie would make Xur sell us the things RNG wont give us
Secretly, we may make a deal with God or our higher power. This is a weaker line of defense to protect us from the painful reality.
[b]4. Depression[/b]
Two types of depression are associated with RNG. The first one is a reaction to practical implications relating to the loss. Sadness and regret predominate this type of depression. This phase may be eased by simple clarification and reassurance. We may need a bit of helpful cooperation and a few kind words. The second type of depression is more subtle and, in a sense, perhaps more private. It is our quiet preparation to separate and to bid our RNG dreams farewell. Sometimes all we really need is a hug.
[b]5. Acceptance[/b]
Reaching this stage of mourning is a gift not afforded to everyone. An RNG dick punch can be sudden and unexpected and we may never see beyond our anger or denial. It is not necessarily a mark of bravery to resist the inevitable and to deny ourselves the opportunity to make our peace. This phase is marked by withdrawal and calm. This is not a period of happiness and must be distinguished from depression.
Coping with RNG loss is ultimately a deeply personal and singular experience — nobody can help you go through it more easily or understand all the emotions that you’re going through. But others can be there for you and help comfort you through this process. The best thing you can do is to allow yourself to feel the grief as it comes over you. Resisting it only will prolong the natural process of healing.
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