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7/20/2015 6:33:58 AM
166

How Do you Flirt?

Do you act all romantic? Maybe you pretend to be a confident dude bro? How about you grills out there? I think it'd be easier. Tell us your tactics. [spoiler]I know some of you haven't had your balls drop yet, so if you find girls gross I won't judge.[/spoiler]

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  • Edited by UberFonzie: 7/21/2015 6:19:49 AM
    • assume tactical position • yell "BITCHES AND HOES, SNITCHES EAT LEGOS" in the general direction of the target • walk on knees (without letting your feet or hands hit the ground) until 3.4 feet away from target • initiate [i]the gesture[/i]* • reveal mango • taunt with mango • retreat to a safe place while still knee-walking • watch from shadows until opportune moment • throw mango • do not hit target, instead aim for target's uncle • if uncle is not present, throw at drinking glass nearest to target • scream "MY DICK IS OF TITANIUM" and scuttle towards target • when at optimal pecking distance, unleash full dick fury • you have 4-7 minutes until police arrive • after target has been thoroughly dicked, retreat to safe distance • toss handy pocket 1943 pinecone fragmentation grenade • yell "THE GERRIES GOT GUNS" when police arrive • reveal secondary banana • unzip banana • seductively lick banana meat until police get near • shit pants • pull tactical zipcord to quickly remove pants • relax knees and ankles, tumble to the floor • whisper "riddle me this" and bring nearest police officer to the ground • begin lactating using your advanced lactation tactic • use man-milk to gracefully slide yourself along the floor to nearest exit • escape in helicopter • success *the gesture takes years to master, and even the eldest swaglords have difficulty performing it. It involves twisting ones dick in such a manner that it becomes four dimensional, tumbling through time and space as an ever present testament to God's regret.

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