A hunter, a warlock and a titan, walk into a bar.
Inside at the bar, they see a jar filled with glimmer to the brim. They approach the bartender and inquire about the jar.
The bartender tells them, "You pay 1,000 glimmer into the jar. There are three tests. If you can pass all three tests, you keep all the glimmer."
"What are the tests?", the Hunter inquires.
"Gotta pay first".
The hunter, warlock and titan agree and pay in.
"First, you have to drink that entire bottle of pepper tequila. The whole thing at once. And not make a face doing it."
"Easy enough", the titan says.
"Second, Master Rahool is hoarding an exotic heavy engram. You'll have to steal it from him. Not as easy at it sounds".
The hunter smirks, "Good thing I have invisibility."
"Lastly, that poor shipwright, Amanda Holliday. Always stuck in the hangar, busy with work, no company. Never had an orgasm in her life. You gotta make things right for her", says the bartender.
"I'll just use fireborn to bring back my erection if needed", the warlock remarks.
All three guardians agree to the tests at hand. They each down they tequila. Tears are streaming down the Hunter's face, the warlock is sweating and squinting, and the titan handled the first one fairly well so he had a second--wasted beyond belief.
One by one they take turns in their drunken stupor for the next part of the test. The hunter stumbles out to the Cryptarch. After a brief curse, he returns. "Forgot to switch to Bladedancer". Failed.
The warlock glides out like a fairy trying not to trip over anything while dazed from the tequila. He went for the above approach. Easily caught by the Cryptarch. Forgot to use Angel of Light. Failed.
Now the titan heads out. At first it is quiet. Then there is some yelling, some rustling like theres a tumble going on, and an abrupt few grunts.
The titan returns. He hands the bartender a handwritten note Rahool gave him. It reads, "Come back before I get bored..."
"That's not what I asked you to get!", the bartender says.
The titan nods his head in a drunken pride and says, "Now where's that shipwright with the exotic engram?"
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