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Edited by IAmJoshman:
8/15/2015 11:56:45 PM
327
The Chuck Norris "Facts" Thread
Let's all perform our daily worship of Chuck Norris
Now please let us hear the "Facts" the Chuck has to offer
News: 50 Facts, Norris approves
News: 100 Facts, Norris is pleased
News: 250 Facts, Chuck killed Osama bin Laden in fit of happiness
News: 550 Facts, Chuck went in time to stop the JFK assasination. As Oswald shot, Chuck's beard caught and shot back the bullets at Oswald, killing him. JFK's head exploded from sheer amazement.
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Best Facts:
Chuck Norris took oranges off an apple tree and made the best lemonade you've ever tasted - JollyRoger343
Chuck Norris was supposed to star in the show "Man vs. Wild," but the directors didn't want kids thinking that "lava is safe to eat" - Rubyk
Chuck Norris can rub 2 pieces of fire together and make wood -WiliestHarbor66
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret - MasterMG33
Chuck Norris can sit in the corner of a circular room - Omalpha
Chuck Norris got into a knife fight... The knife lost - Omalpha
When Chuck Norris dies he will be carrying his own coffin - hertylip
Chuck Norris likes his meat so rare he only eats unicorns - II Âømârk II
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[b][i][u]THE HALL OF THE NORRIS[/u][/i][/b]
[b][i]The Greatest Contributor: Singh1199[/i][/b]
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I can kill 2 birds with one rock Chuck Norris can kill 2 rocks with one bird
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4 RepliesDoing Trials and need two people I'm a level 34 Warlock with ghally Message me for an invite Gt is the same
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1 ReplyThe [url=http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law]-godwinslaw!-[/url] surrendered 1 day after Chuck was born.
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His real name is Carlos. And he has no chin behind his beard, just another fist.
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2 RepliesHe's got a black belt, on the beard, that he grows on his dick [spoiler]erb[/spoiler]
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1 ReplyWhile soloing Templar, Chuck Norris holds the Relic in one hand and a Gjallarhorn in the other. The Templar commits suicide after seeing what he is up against.
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2 RepliesFACT: Chuck Norris is actually not that strong and got rekt by Bruce lee.
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Lies..... All lies.....
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1 Reply╰( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ [b][i][u]SWIGGITY SWOOGITY, NO ONE WANTS YOUR BOOTY!!![/u][/i][/b]
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It takes an hour for him to eat dinner first 45 minutes he has -blam- with the waitress I kinda forgot the fact number
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Chuck Norris is the only person to get the threesome scene in witcher 3
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He's a bad @55
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2 RepliesChuck Norris is a huge creationist fgt who beats his wife
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Edited by NaturedPanic57: 7/14/2015 7:56:17 PM
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Norris Roundhouse Bump
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2 RepliesThey once named a street after Chuck Norris, but they had to change it - because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
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6 Replies....…..|::::::::,-': : : : : : : : - -~''''¯¯''-„: : : : : :\ ……..|::::::::|: : : : : : : : : _„„--~'''''~-„: : : : : '| ……..'|:::::::,': : : : : : :_„„-: : : : : : : : ~--„_: |' ………|::::::|: : : „--~~'''~~''''''''-„…_..„~''''''''''''¯¯| ………|:::::,':_„„-|: : :_„---~: : :|''¯¯''''|: ~---„_: | …….. ,~-,_/'': : : |: _ o__): : |: : : :|_o__): \.. | ……../,'-,: : : : : ''-,_______,-'': : : : ''-„______\ ……..\: :|: : : : : : : : : : : : : :„: : : : :-,: : : : : :\ ………',:': : : : : : : : : : : : :,-'__: : : :_',: : : : ,' ……….'-,-': : : : : :___„-: : :'': : ¯''~~'': ': : ~--| ………….|: ,: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :| ………….'|: \: : : : : : : : -,„_„„-~~--~--„_: : : | …………..|: \: : : : : : : : : : : :-------~: : : : : | I tell ya what, you just got visited by the friendly propane man If you don't post this in 5 comment section you'll suffer pro-pain
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Norris Roundhouse Bump
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When Chuck Norris found out he was invincible, He left vincible
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3 RepliesChuck Norris flew as a Kamikaze pilot.... [spoiler]17 times[/spoiler]
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He doesn't read he stares at a book until it surrenders its knowledge
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Chuck Norris swims through land and walks on water Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer to bad he never cried
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When Chuck Norris daughter lost her virginity, he went and got it back.
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4 RepliesChuck Norris can kill 2 stones with 1 bird. He also found out that nothing could kill him, so he found nothing and killed it first.
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Chuck Norris once ran a Marathon in 4.72 seconds. Dissatisfied with his time, he threw the anchor tied to his waist into the sun and ran the Marathon again, 4.72 seconds faster than before.
