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Edited by IAmJoshman:
8/15/2015 11:56:45 PM
327
The Chuck Norris "Facts" Thread
Let's all perform our daily worship of Chuck Norris
Now please let us hear the "Facts" the Chuck has to offer
News: 50 Facts, Norris approves
News: 100 Facts, Norris is pleased
News: 250 Facts, Chuck killed Osama bin Laden in fit of happiness
News: 550 Facts, Chuck went in time to stop the JFK assasination. As Oswald shot, Chuck's beard caught and shot back the bullets at Oswald, killing him. JFK's head exploded from sheer amazement.
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Best Facts:
Chuck Norris took oranges off an apple tree and made the best lemonade you've ever tasted - JollyRoger343
Chuck Norris was supposed to star in the show "Man vs. Wild," but the directors didn't want kids thinking that "lava is safe to eat" - Rubyk
Chuck Norris can rub 2 pieces of fire together and make wood -WiliestHarbor66
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret - MasterMG33
Chuck Norris can sit in the corner of a circular room - Omalpha
Chuck Norris got into a knife fight... The knife lost - Omalpha
When Chuck Norris dies he will be carrying his own coffin - hertylip
Chuck Norris likes his meat so rare he only eats unicorns - II Âømârk II
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[b][i][u]THE HALL OF THE NORRIS[/u][/i][/b]
[b][i]The Greatest Contributor: Singh1199[/i][/b]
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Edited by Nate Catt: 7/25/2015 3:52:08 AMI don't know why people think he is so awesome, now if you'll excuse me someone is at my door
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1 ReplyChuck norris doesn't jerk off[spoiler]he -blam!-s his hamd[/spoiler]
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( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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Chuck Norris doesnt flush his toilet. He just scares the crap out of it.
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8 Replies-Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked gay marriage, and fell flat on his ass. -Chuck Norris does not sleep. He's worrying about gay marriage. -Chuck Norris’ tears cure gay marriage. Too bad for him he never cries. -There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only the quivering fear of gay marriage. -Chuck Norris doesn’t do pushups — he might accidentally get gay-married. -When Chuck Norris goes to sleep every night, he would check his closet for gay marriage, if he had a closet. -Chuck Norris does not go opposing gay marriage, because the word “opposing” implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris already failed to stop gay marriage. -If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. Tell him how fabulous gay marriage is. -Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice. But couldn't stop thinking about gay marriage while doing so. -Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked Clint Eastwood in the face, because Clint Eastwood supports gay marriage.
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5 RepliesEdited by Becket113: 7/3/2015 12:52:35 AMChuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands and when he came back they were then called the Islands.
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At night, the monsters check their closets for Chuck Norris.
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2 RepliesEdited by Silentcombatant: 7/5/2015 3:14:25 PMWanna know why there are no jokes about Bruce lee? Because he isn't a joke
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4 RepliesBruce Lee beat up chuck [spoiler]get rekt [/spoiler]
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2 RepliesBruce Lee killed Chuck Norris. [spoiler]in a movie.[/spoiler]
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Call the exorcist.
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We pee our names in the snow. Chuck Norris can pee is name in magma.
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19 RepliesFact: Bruce Lee kicked his ass
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Edited by Moist: 7/21/2015 7:55:06 AMChuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people..... Then the grenade exploded
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1 ReplyChuck Norris had a heart attack 30 years ago, his heart is just too scared to tell him
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Chuck Norris can nipple twist the hulk
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Chuck had a heart attack and he won
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2 RepliesHe's a licensed architect. Hence "killed by the architects"
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He was once bit by a cobra. After 3 days of horrible pain, the cobra died
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4 RepliesEdited by Lime: 6/24/2015 8:58:55 PMChuck Norris sleeps with a Pillow under his Gun. Chuck Norris once threw a Grenade and killed 50 people. Then the Grenade exploded. Chuck Norris is the reason Wally is hiding. Chuck Norris built the Hospital in which he was born. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. It's descendants are now known as Giraffes. When God said, "Let there be light." Chuck Norris said, "Say please.". Chuck Norris once played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded Gun and won. Chuck Norris doesn't breath air. He holds air hostage. Chuck Norris doesn't turn a shower on. He stares at it until it begins to cry.
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1 ReplyChuck Norris was the original choice for the title character in The Terminator series, but then it would have to be labeled a biography.
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1 ReplyChuck Norris' punches make the speed of light wish it were faster.
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2 RepliesEdited by IAmJoshman: 7/15/2015 6:49:48 PMThere is no such thing as [i]"Evolution"[/i]. Just a list of things Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
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2 RepliesWhy are there so many chuck norris jokes but no bruce lee jokes? Because bruce lee is no joke.
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I can kill 2 birds with one rock Chuck Norris can kill 2 rocks with one bird
