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Edited by IAmJoshman:
8/15/2015 11:56:45 PM
327
The Chuck Norris "Facts" Thread
Let's all perform our daily worship of Chuck Norris
Now please let us hear the "Facts" the Chuck has to offer
News: 50 Facts, Norris approves
News: 100 Facts, Norris is pleased
News: 250 Facts, Chuck killed Osama bin Laden in fit of happiness
News: 550 Facts, Chuck went in time to stop the JFK assasination. As Oswald shot, Chuck's beard caught and shot back the bullets at Oswald, killing him. JFK's head exploded from sheer amazement.
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Best Facts:
Chuck Norris took oranges off an apple tree and made the best lemonade you've ever tasted - JollyRoger343
Chuck Norris was supposed to star in the show "Man vs. Wild," but the directors didn't want kids thinking that "lava is safe to eat" - Rubyk
Chuck Norris can rub 2 pieces of fire together and make wood -WiliestHarbor66
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret - MasterMG33
Chuck Norris can sit in the corner of a circular room - Omalpha
Chuck Norris got into a knife fight... The knife lost - Omalpha
When Chuck Norris dies he will be carrying his own coffin - hertylip
Chuck Norris likes his meat so rare he only eats unicorns - II Âømârk II
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[b][i][u]THE HALL OF THE NORRIS[/u][/i][/b]
[b][i]The Greatest Contributor: Singh1199[/i][/b]
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3 RepliesWhen bell invented the phone he already had three missed calls from chuck.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
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1 ReplySuperman and Chuck Norris went into an arm wrestling contest the loser had to wear tights outside his suit
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4 RepliesChuck Norris likes his meat so rare he only eats unicorns
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3 RepliesChuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret
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6 RepliesThey say the opening scene of [i]Saving Private Ryan[/i] is a rendition of a dodgeball game Chuck Norris played in 2nd grade.
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The reason why there are ghost in the world is because Chuck Norris is killing people faster than death could process them
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Edited by Just Dan: 7/23/2015 8:37:17 PMChuck Norris can go to a Nike outlet and buy Adidas. Chuck Norris can win a game of connect four in 3 moves.
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4 RepliesEdited by LLegendary: 7/25/2015 10:30:12 PMI have a calendar that gives me a new Chuck Norris fact EVERY DAY Edit: Here it is- http://www.amazon.com/Chuck-Norris-2015-Daily-Calendar/dp/B00LP0XKFG
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1 ReplyEdited by AustinSilvestre: 7/18/2015 4:26:51 PMChuck Norris made his own toilet paper. Immediately they had to re-call it all because chuck Norris doesn't take shit from anyone.
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Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage
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On the day of his birth, chuck norris' doctor died, never slap chuck norris
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2 RepliesWithheld by order of the Kal'eon Legion's most high. In accordance with [Error: Translation unavailable. There are more of these]. [spoiler]The Legion has known of this human for eons. Koldraxon has issued a [Quarantine Order?] due to [Disruption of Order?] across [Creation: Mortal Planes?] and will accept the being alive, for many questions, followed by a simple offer; to aid in imposing of order in it's simplest rendition. TL:DR: Koldraxon (I) would like to ask him questions before he is sentenced to [Universal Relocation, or Security of the Everything, or [SOCIAL WORK?] ], which will be negotiated on-site. RECOMMENDATION: Exit this spoiler before I flood your brain with what I am within [Arch (controlled Reality) Domain]. Facts about Koldraxon (Order-Imposed-on-Chaos): -Everything to do with Order is only so due to his existence due to [Unknown, or not known to Kal'eon anywhatever]. -He is never directly present, acting through his descendant races, Avatars (statue/golem/mech thing), and the most common, Extensions. -Is capable of augmenting local universal areas to suit needs (E.G: Species genetic acquisition, for integration into Kal'eon as affiliates). -Will not be stopped, but can be negotiated with. -Is usually 'mostly harmless'. -Is beyond comprehension. -Has a brother, Xardorkol (Chaos-Unto-Order). -Is one of the First 7 beings simply known as [Arch?], descending from [PRIMAL GENESIS?], who descended from [THE CREATOR? We don't know for sure if this is true, then again, nothing is certain. Maybe there was no Creator. Maybe there was no Primal Genesis. Maybe, in one [Reality], there is no Chuck Norris?]. [ERROR: Unauthorized access by unknown entity identified as 'Khi'] Khi_Fact: They are technology. They exist everywhere and everywhen and everhow. There is nowhere that they cannot exist. [/spoiler]
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4 RepliesIs it 2006 again?
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1 Reply[b]Chuck Norris doesn't open doors they slam open to get out of his way. When Chuck Norris goes to sleep the moon goes up, when he wakes up the sun comes up. Fact, Chuck Norris is the only thing keeping Satan down there, and God up there. Chuck Norris caught a cold, and threw it back. Chuck Norris doesn't have to shoot a gun, he just has to throw the bullet. Chuck Norris can sit in the corner of a circular room. Chuck Norris got into a knife fight... The knife lost. [/b]
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4 RepliesAfter 2 days of agonizing pain the King Cobra fell over dead from biting Chuck Norris.
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3 RepliesWhen chuck Norris dies he will be carrying the coffin
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1 ReplyChuck Norris challenged himself to a staring contest. And on the third day, he won.
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Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people [spoiler]Then it exploded [/spoiler]
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Once, a cobra decided to bite chuck Norris and after days of agonising pain... The snake finally died.
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2 RepliesOnce chuck norris pissed on a semi truck... That truck is now known as optimus prime.
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"There used to be a street named Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives"[i] "Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no sighs of life." "Fear of spiders if called Aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces if Chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic." "Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience" "Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead, it is just afraid to move." [/i]
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Chucks daughter lost her virginity but chuck got it back
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He is so fast that he can run across the planet and hit himself in the back.
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Chuck Norris is so hot, the sun told him to get colder
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When Chuck Norris passes away, he didn't actually die, God just retired. Who else could've taken his place?
