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Edited by IAmJoshman:
8/15/2015 11:56:45 PM
327
The Chuck Norris "Facts" Thread
Let's all perform our daily worship of Chuck Norris
Now please let us hear the "Facts" the Chuck has to offer
News: 50 Facts, Norris approves
News: 100 Facts, Norris is pleased
News: 250 Facts, Chuck killed Osama bin Laden in fit of happiness
News: 550 Facts, Chuck went in time to stop the JFK assasination. As Oswald shot, Chuck's beard caught and shot back the bullets at Oswald, killing him. JFK's head exploded from sheer amazement.
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Best Facts:
Chuck Norris took oranges off an apple tree and made the best lemonade you've ever tasted - JollyRoger343
Chuck Norris was supposed to star in the show "Man vs. Wild," but the directors didn't want kids thinking that "lava is safe to eat" - Rubyk
Chuck Norris can rub 2 pieces of fire together and make wood -WiliestHarbor66
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret - MasterMG33
Chuck Norris can sit in the corner of a circular room - Omalpha
Chuck Norris got into a knife fight... The knife lost - Omalpha
When Chuck Norris dies he will be carrying his own coffin - hertylip
Chuck Norris likes his meat so rare he only eats unicorns - II Âømârk II
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[b][i][u]THE HALL OF THE NORRIS[/u][/i][/b]
[b][i]The Greatest Contributor: Singh1199[/i][/b]
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8 RepliesBruce Lee is the only known existing thing to have ever defeated Chuck Norris
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3 RepliesHis beard has a fist which has a beard which holds another fist and the cycle continues for eternity
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When Chuck Norris left for college he said to his dad "you're the man of the house now" Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands. When he left it was just the Islands. Chuck Norris died, but he's alright now.
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Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in with his bare hands
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2 RepliesChuck norris can get free internet. [spoiler]on the sun[/spoiler]
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2 RepliesHas anyone made a Church of Chuck yet? Because let's be honest, he's practically God at this point anyway (not joking, I'm actually wondering).
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2 RepliesWhen Chuck Norris runs for president all the other candidates drop out
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They y named the movie tropic thunder when he farted on set
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Kids write their names in the snow with their piss Chuck Norris pisses his name into the sidewalk
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1 ReplyBruce Lee actually never killed me
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2 RepliesChuck Norris kicked a horse in the chin ...its descendants are now known as giraffes. Chuck Norris kicked a person in the chin ...he had no descendants
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1 ReplyWhen Chuck Norris left for the war, he told his dad "You're the man of the house now"
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Chuck Norris once peed in the gas cap of a truck. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime
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Chuck Norris once through a grenade and killed 20 people then it blew up. Chuck Norris can lock you inside a motorcycle.
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2 RepliesBefore Chuck Norris was born, Nunchucks used to be called nunBarrys, nobody know what happened to Barry
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Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands, now they're just the Islands.
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If chuck Norris was dyslectic The letters won't be mixed up in his head He mixes the letters up IRL
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When Chuck Norris walks into your house, you're the guest
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William Wallace has more everything than chuck norris
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Chuck Norris had sex with a robot woman. Her name is Ikaros.
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7 RepliesChuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad. Chuck Norris counted to infinity, twice. Chuck Norris was once asked "How many push ups can you do?" to which he replied "All of them." If you have 5 dollars and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you. Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim on land.
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4 RepliesChuck Norris once killed a whole army with two gunshots... the first was a warning shot.
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1 ReplyWhen chuck norris donates blood, he asks for a gun and a bucket.
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3 RepliesWhen bell invented the phone he already had three missed calls from chuck.
