I've had some people try to sell us paper towels before (?), some other creeps try to sell us meat (wtf?!), and about 15 separate Jehovah's Witness visits. Tell us your stories or suffer my wrath.
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Some dog showed up on my porch once
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There's this dude that often tries to sell cheese [spoiler]it's some pretty good cheese tho...[/spoiler]
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A homeless guy came up and asked for spare change once. Being the nice guy I am I [spoiler]closed the door and called the police[/spoiler]
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When I was a kid, I rode the bus home. One day coming home my mom had to run and get something from the store (don't remember what.) So I was locked out until she came home. While I waited on my porch, with my dog, two men on bikes rode up. They told me they were bible sells men, and wanted to speak with my mother. I told them she wasn't home. They had no backpacks. They had no bags. They were both dressed in white button down shirts, tucked into their black slacks. They asked to come in, and tried coming up on my porch. My dog named George, (a mutt we adopted, had since I was 4) got up from behind me and growled. The bigger man tried to pet my dog. George nearly took a finger. The smaller man asked again, if they could come in. "My dog doesn't like you very much, I don't like you either. You can't come in, and my grandpa lives next door, and keeps a gun on him at all times. If George don't like you, grandpa will shoot you." They offered me some nervous "god bless you" s and got back on their bikes and rode down the road somewhat quickly. They were arrested for breaking and entering a day later at an old man's house :)
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My friend robbed me of my juiceboxes in 8th grade at my house. Heard the door open (cause apparently i forgot to lock it). He looked me did in the face with like 5 pouches then runs to the library next door. Walked up to him and was like "you could've asked, i don't even like that flavor. I laugh at this all the time.
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Actually no one has come and bugged us for a while, but some dudes tried jacking our car trailer one night. Opensdoor.exe Watudoing.jpg Theytookofffast.gif
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Mormans... Weirdos
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Ur mum
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This didn't really happen at my door but, one day I was sitting outside with my family on our deck in our neighborhood, when all of a sudden, a big helicopter flies from out of the trees and flies directly over my house with about 6 or 7 fully decked out SWAT guys in the helicopter. My family and I then went inside and later found out that some guy had robbed a nearby bank and had run into my neighborhood and was fully armed and was mentally insane. o_O
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"Do you have time for Jesus?" "No, I'm an athiest, have a good da-" "Just a moment of your time sir, his teachings will change your life." "...okay, fine. I'll listen to your lectures if you can sit through my lecture of how bondage works." Worked like a charm, they never came back.
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Christians that tried to make me believe that god is real and jesus saved us all. Go to hell.
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Jehovah's Witness. One time I was watching TV then I heard a knock on my fancy ass door and I looked out my window with my -blam!- face to see who it was. It was a Jehovah's Witness. Osht.exe He looked straight at me as I had my -blam!- face. I -blam!- and then he left.
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A man dressed in a gorilla suit showed up at my front door at midnight. He threw a banana at my sister when she answered the door. I ate the banana.
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I had a guy ring my doorbell and leave a sack of potatoes at the doorstep your argument is invalid
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Religious people.
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illegitimate children
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What's a jobohvahs witness
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Edited by Strongbad: 6/22/2015 12:43:34 AMDo you have time to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ
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Yesterday these kids were trying to get me to pay for their college education. I closed the door, but they didn't leave for about another ten minutes. [spoiler]I hid.[/spoiler]
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Edited by Craig da best: 6/21/2015 4:41:16 PMFrom time to time people try and sell me things they stole from a super market, the coffees pretty cheap :P Had a pizza delivery guy walk straight into my friends flat and into the front room while we where emm let's just say it was illegal, I've never seen 4 guys jump up so fast and the poor driver crapped himself
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Someone left 3 perfectly good pumpkins
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A white person
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Miracle elixir salesman.
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I was working one day and one of my co workers walks in and is like "this was at the door when I walked in" we were like "meh" and so we opened the box. Lemme tell you about the dimensions of this box. It was about 14"x14" and it was kinda heavy-ish. What's in the box? [spoiler]Dildos. Shit you not, it was dildos. The owner came by to pick the box up. She was in her late 60's (maybe) and of South East Asian decent.[/spoiler]
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Jehovas whitnesses
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I had a drunk guy knock on my door an ask me if I knew where his other shoe was one time, I proceeded to look down an he was missing a shoe...thought he was screwing around but turns out he really was looking for his shoe. I just stood there confused an gave him a flipflop lmao