Screw it. Let's nerf everything. Everything. I don't want to shoot bullets. Bullets are OP. I think we should all run around with water guns. Instead of armor, let's tape pillows to our bodies. Let's have tickle fights. Our super abilities would revolve around high fives and hugs. No more melees. Those are OP. Only chest bumps. And Bro Hugs.
Stop the madness!
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Don't forget grenades. We'll throw styrofoam balls that explode into packing peanuts.