Hello fellow Fallen and welcome to the first episode of [u]The Daily Dreg[/u] new brought to you by your favorite Dreg, Greg. [u]Greg[/u] "Welcome, and boy do I have some interesting news about the other races but first, may we have a moment to commemorate the House of Devils Prime Servitors, Sepkis Prime 45813- 48754, you will be missed, and your brave sacrifices were not in vain, for you have managed to vanquish a record of [b][i][u]THIRTEEN[/u][/i][/b] strike teams in a single day! That's right my fellow Fallen, 13 strike teams fell during today's defenses on Earth. The lightswitch energy packs that we were able to use in our weapons have helped out in the war effort tremendously, and thankfully none of these idiot guardians have thought of using our weapons against us. We will now go to Randal the Vandal for the rest of our Earth report." [u]Randal[/u] "Thanks Greg. The war effort has been going great today, and it appears that the loss of the Guardians friends have left some of them depressed and suicidal, and I should know, I've had to take care of several guardians ghosts after they somehow managed to die from blowing holes in their own feet while walking in the waves here by the Forgotten Shore. I've also been hearing complaints from my adoring fans as to why I haven't been seen around my home in the same area. The newest Reavers needed to be trained, and with the loss of our Archon Priest several months ago, the Reavers needed all the help they could get with training, and I was more than happy to oblige. That's it for all the interesting news around here back to you Greg" [u]Greg[/u] "Okay, now we have been hearing of rumors that large television satellites have started to fall out of their orbits and into guardian territory, who are mistaking them for something called a 'warsat', whatever that is, so we need to have full squads of Fallen to recover our lost satellites on Venus and Earth before the guardians can, so let's start trying to recover them in full force so we can learn who we need to break out of the Prison of Elders and how the House of Wolves olds out during the next mass assault on May 19th. Now I would like to give you a report of the rest of the planets, but it appears that someone [i]*cough* Randal *cough*[/i] has managed to crash a [b][i][u]KETCH[/u][/i][/b] into our interplanetary satellite array, so this is all the news we can to report to you wonderful Devils and Kings until we manage to have the suspect who should not be named fix it by himself..." [i]From somewhere off stage[/i] "It wasn't my fault a Dead Orbit extraction team crashed into the Ketch!" [u]Greg[/u] "Sure, now just try telling the Kell that same story, then we'll see why you really haven't been seen around the Forgotten Shore recently too. Anyways, that's it for now, so this is Greg the Dreg telling you to keep on working hard this week you brave, heroic defenders. Now a word from our sponsor: tHImAn53098 --------------------------------------------------- This satire is for all the haters and normal people playing Destiny, just read this and try to stop acting like you have an Ice Breaker stuck up your blam! , but seriously keep laughing and be happy and if you want to see more of [i]The Daily Dreg[/i], please either like the post and or comment about your favorite part or any part, I enjoyed doing this and would like to do this again for you guys, but unless I can get some support, I won't be able to for a while. Also if you have any suggestions for the next episode, please feel free to put them in the comments, I might even use your suggestion in the next episode, so until then, this is Greg the Dreg saying goodbye and goodnight. [i]~I did repost this to a different section for the purposes of bringing it off the general rage section of the Destiny forums.[/i]