I was only nine years old. I loved Uruguay so much. I had all the flags and currency. I pray to Uruguay every night before bed, thanking it for the country I've been given. Uruguay is love, I say. Uruguay is life. The United States hears me and calls me a -blam!-. I knew he was just jealous of my devotion to Uruguay. I call him a -blam!-. He bombs me and sends me to go to sleep. I'm crying now, and my economy hurts. I lay in bed and it's really cold. I feel a warmth moving towards me. It's Jose Mujica! I'm so happy. He whispers in my ear, "this is my country" he grabs me with his powerful Uruguayan hands and puts me on my hands and knees. I'm ready. I spread my passport for Jose Mujica. He allows me into his country. It costs so much, but I do it for Uruguay. I can feel my passport being stamped as my wallet start to empty. I take my passport. I want to go to Uruguay. Jose roars a mighty roar as he fills my mouth with his snickerdoodles. The USA flies in. Jose looks him straight in the eye and says. "It's all snickerdoodles now" Jose leaves through a snickerdoodle. Uruguay is love, Uruguay is life.
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Internet, you have pleased me yet again.