The one time I went to seek professional help for my depression, I got imprisoned for six days (5150 with an extension) and slapped with a bill that crippled my finances because I didn't have health insurance at the time (student health center said the place gave free assessments). This will cumulate in me dropping out of college next semester because I can't afford to go and I refuse to let my mother pay for it and I lack the confidence to seek out a job. After all, I'm a high school graduate with not very impressive grades. All in all, my own weakness served to screw me over once again. I do not expect to live past thirty at most.

I couldn't ever forget that day. January 17th, 2011. Sophomore year. The night before I had taco bell for dinner. I had a cheesy ghordita crunch, a nacho supreme, and a crunch wrap supreme. For dessert I had chocolate ice cream drizzled in chocolate and caramel syrup. My stomach began to rumble in bed that night. the next morning I wake up, and have a bowl of left over chili for breakfast. Little did I know this was an ingredient that was part of a recipe for disaster. I get to school to find out my friend brought donuts and was too full to eat the rest, so I had to chocolate bars and a maple bar. I then dug into my backpack where I kept my monster energy drink for the day. Then second period hit. I began to feel the 8,000 grams of sugar rotate and expand itself inside of me. The amount of toxic gases that had built up in my rectum were so thick and great in number it could have caused a devastating earthquake that could have caused the end of the world. I knew an epic fart was on its way, so I squeezed my buttcheeks as hard as I could. The gasses were pounding on the black gate, but gondors men stood strong. One of my buttcheeks looked to the other, and said "if we stick together, we can stop this shit". Then it happened. Shit began propelling out of my asshole like an intergallactic missile, literally shredding through my underwear and jeans, flying into the mouth of the poor girl behind me. Poor Stacy. She was only 15 years old. She drowned in my shit, as did nearly the entire class. the only reason a few of us survived is because the teacher swam through the sea of shit and vomit of the students and opened the classroom door just in time. It was like a canal had broken and the shit rivers were running through the school. I did over $3,000 worth of property damage, and caused about 850 people to vomit. Of course this story isn't true, but I thought it'd be funny. to be honest one time a farted and it did stink really bad.

I am depressed. When I am after one single objective. Pestilence of the variety of this community came to bring my current depression to this state. Depression-Suicidal-'Bad day'.

Plz someone talk to me

A year and a half ago my step father, who had been a part of my life since i was 4, was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He fought for 5 months until it overtook him. It was terrible to watch him go through it but i got to be by his side every day until the end. He passed away at 49 years old. It destroyed my mother. 3 months later, my actual father, who had fought and beat lung cancer a few years ago, was given the news that his cancer was back and it had spread everywhere. Again, i sat by his side every day, and i got to help him until the end. He passed 2 months later after starying up with him all night after everyone else had gone to sleep. His last words were "Thank you son". A couple weeks after the funeral back in October, i went by his house to pick up a few things. When i walked in, my step mother and my dad's best friend (who was married at the time) came running out of the bedroom. They had been sleeping together. In fact, she had been cheating on my dad for the last year of his life. After talking to my grandfather, my dad had confided in him, telling him that he had known she was cheating but that he couldn't fight her and cancer at the same time. She sold their house and all of their belongings and moved out of state with my dad's best friend in November. She refuses to talk to me now but according to Facebook, they got married last month. I've lost 3 parents in the last year and a half and my mom is still pretty destroyed from it all. I don't talk about these things with too many people because it hurts so much. I have cried the entire time writing this. But Destiny, and is community, are one of the only outlets i have where i can just shut the outside world out for a bit. Thanks for this thread. Writing that helped

I can't take a shit.

Well the girl i like still doesnt know i like her but i cant man up and tell her. I mean i can do anything but that. Zipline over a forest? No problem. Tell her? I dont know about that. Its hurts so bad :'(

I'm depressed

I recently decided to accept being alone for the rest of my life. I've had one girlfriend 4 years ago and ever since then I've been rejected time and time again. I love gaming and anime, but I feel like no other female does. I've honestly accepted being single indefinitely. I do feel lonely once and a while. Unfortunately most of my friends are online only and not IRL. *sigh* my problem isn't nearly as bad as other people in the world.

Will I ever find the right guy for me? Being alone is my greatest fear and Depression is the bane of my existence.

My roommate is a dick. How can I get him to go away forever?

I work with a bunch of middle aged children! I love my job but recently I have decided to change some stuff up to improve my analysis (I am in finance) and the accounting people (middle-aged children) hate change. So now the manager in the accounting team has decided he doesn't like me and doesn't want to talk to me. So his direct reports are doing the same. They've made a workplace relationship so hostile right now and it's getting worse each day. My manager supports me 100% but also knows you can't teach an old dog new tricks. So it is what it is - but of recent this accounting manager has started to talk a lot of shit about me in emails that I have changed things and to my customers too! The other day I was so mad - I closed my office door and sat before i said/did something wrong. He's 45 years old and is acting like a 15 year old! This isn't freaking high school - it's a professional organization. Neither my dad or his dad owns it so he needs to get his head out of his @ss and deal with it! So with this I have been hating coming to work. I love my job and company and I don't see myself going anywhere anytime soon. But this "kid" is making me want to move NOW!