Greetings, my fellow Guardians (Deej included, if he is indeed reading).
'Tis a sad, sad day indeed for my Destiny career...
A sad day indeed...
And an especially mournful day for my Hand Cannon wielding, charismatic, and stylishly intelligent Awoken Warlock.
He who has always had a sharp eye for accuracy, and a burning, phenomenal desire for the Legendary (Or should I say Exotic), sleek Sidearm once wielded by the equally Mythic Jared Ward, and Shin Malphur.
It all started close to three weeks ago... within the Timeless depths of the notorious Vault Of Glass...
Seeking treasures unknown to the world above, as well as myself, I struck down every Archaic Machine Mind in my path, battling hordes of a Primeval Darkness, specifically with the desire to acquire that one, specific, beautiful Hand Cannon...
...The Last Word...
I continued on through the depths of the Ancient Vault, striving, and hopefully yearning, with all of my being, to find that one Exotic Treasure...
The one Weapon that I have strived to find since day one of Destiny... only to find failure, and a Fireteam that abandoned me...
And at some point during that hopeless Raid against the Vex, my controller joystick began to sway, and drift, even when I was not touching it, which as all of you could imagine, was quite an annoyance.
Yet I journeyed on.
I did not yet want to send my controller back to get a replacement, because I was afraid that Xur would sell The Last Word while I was unable to join in the Universe of Destiny, and now my greatest (Gaming) fear has been realized...
The Wednesday before last, I shipped my controller off into the great unknown, hoping to have it back by this week, however I was woefully let down by its tragic absence.
I hoped, and prayed to The Traveler itself for Bungie not to sell The Last Word this weekend, yet... my prayers were in vain...
My controller is due to arrive on a Monday two days from now, but by then I know it will be too late...
I would give another player access to my account to buy it for me, if only I knew how, and if only there was someone I trusted to do so.
I am desperate for this magnificent Beast of a Weapon, Deej.
Please, help.
P.S.
I am mournfully unable to borrow a controller from any person near me, for they either are not willing, or do not have an Xbox One.
My luck has finally failed me...
P.P.S.
I wish that there was a way to formally redact this post from these toxic Forums.
Everyone either thinks that, for some reason, I am "trolling" them, or they want me to explain the exact circumstances by which I can't buy, rent, or borrow a controller, that which I am too lazy to explain, let alone write.
[b]RESOLUTION:[/b] Thank the Traveler, I have found someone to help me!!!!
Also, a tremendous thank you to all of you brave Guardians out there who have offered to help me acquire this godly Weapon!!!!
I officially declare this post to be null, and void.
Thank you, Guardians, all of you.
I'll see you all Starside...
-
Download smartglass, it has virtual controller inputs. Alternately, go to Walmart, buy a controller, and return it when yours comes back. Next time you have stick drift, cut out the shipping step, buy a controller from Walmart again, and then return your drifty one in the box. Much simpler solution! (Please don't moralize at me about this strategy; I'd never do something like this to a locally owned shop, or even a Target [creepy-cultish as they may be], but Walmart's practices of their employees are pretty deplorable, and I think the Waltons can take the hit)