Previous episode https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/113410680/0/0 ****Warning**** Yup, there's gonna be some foul language in here too. [u]Episode 3: Space Turtles[/u] The barracks proved to be a good place to rest and regroup. Not that any of us had expended much energy, but tempers had at least cooled. Since Harley had revealed that she was hoarding all the food and water and decided to share, bellies were full and thirsts were quenched, giving rise to some newfound enthusiasm for the mission at hand. We still hadn't gathered any Relic Iron, and Teddy wasn't about to let his shiny new weapon sit around un-upgraded. Titans were an impatient breed. We struck out again into the sand and heat. We'd been walking for hours with no sign of our sought after material anywhere. I could only hope we didn't run into any trouble. But knowing these 3, finding trouble, or it finding us, was inevitable... [b]Harley:[/b]....You just don't get it, do you? Your ghost can carry 27 pieces of armor and 27 weapons. That gives you more than enough space in your vault to hold all of the other useless bullshit you have that you're never gonna to use. [b] Teddy:[/b] How the hell do you know what I am and am not gonna use? [b]Harley:[/b] I watched you put a -blam!-ing Knight Type 2 helmet in your vault the other day. When are you [i]ever[/i] gonna use that garbage? [b]Winston:[/b] Hey, guys?.... [b]Teddy:[/b] I'm saving it for when I need Plasteel Plating. [b]Harley[/b]: Oh my god. You have THOUSANDS of those. How could you possibly need more? [b]Winston:[/b] Guys? [b]Teddy:[/b] I upgrade a lot of shit. [b]Harley:[/b] Yeah? You mean all that pointless, aforementioned shit that you're never gonna use? [b]Winston:[/b] I feel kinda light headed. [b]Teddy:[/b] You know what!? [b]Harley:[/b] What!? [b]Teddy:[/b] ....I actually don't have a follow up. [b]Harley:[/b] Exactly, shut up. [b]Winston:[/b] O'm nawt feeling sew goooo- *pfff* [b]Harley:[/b] Oh, shit. [b]Teddy:[/b] Winston? Winston, talk to me buddy. Merv? What's wrong with your boy? [b]Merv:[/b] Mild heat-stroke. [b]Harley:[/b] Wha- Why weren't you keeping an eye on his vitals?! [b]Merv:[/b] You ever hear that song, "The Vandal Came Down To Russia" by The High Servitors? [b]Teddy:[/b] Oh yeah that's a good one. [b]Merv:[/b] Right? It's been stuck in my head for the last hour and a half "Oh the vandal came down to Russia, he was lookin for a ship to fly...." [b]Teddy and Merv:[/b] "He was scared as balls, runnin from the law cause he got caught gettin a little high.." [b]Teddy:[/b] Such a good song [b]Merv:[/b] Great song [b]Teddy:[/b] Classic- [b]Harley:[/b] Are you -blam!-ing kidding me!? [b]Teddy and Merv:[/b] What? [b]Harley:[/b] What, what? Winston is lying here dying of dehydration and you're singin a goddamn duet? [b]Merv:[/b] Well it wasn't written as a duet we were just- [b]Harley:[/b] Shut. Up. Merv. We need to find shelter from this heat and get some water in him. [b]Ratchet:[/b] Terrain scans show a small cave roughly 950 meters to the south. [b]Harley:[/b] That'll have to do. Teddy, throw him over your shoulder and let's go. [b]Teddy:[/b] Why do [i]I[/i] have to carry him? [b]Harley:[/b] Because if you don't, I'm going to coat my knife in the hot sauce we used on our burritos earlier and push it very, VERY slowly into your rectum until you pass out from blood loss and die. Then I'm going to leave your cold corpse here to rot in the sun so the buzzards can pick out your eyeballs. [b]Teddy:[/b] Well that was insanely vivid and specific. Fine. It didn't take long to reach the cave. Winston was still unconscious, but stable. After about 30 minutes I sensed that our luck was about to run out for the day. [b]Ratchet:[/b] I'm detecting a large force of Cabal approaching from the Northeast. You two may want to gear up. [b]Teddy:[/b] Great. Harley, hand me my knife. [b]Harley:[/b] Seriously? You think a knife that you have no idea how to use is gonna help us at all? [b]Teddy:[/b] Yes, idiot. I do. [b]Harley:[/b] Ughhh. [b]Ratchet:[/b] 25 meters and closing. [b]Teddy:[/b] Here we go. In an instant Harley and Teddy were knocked unconscious. Psions had snuck in through the back side of the cave while we were distracted by the larger force. I and the other ghosts were thrown into a force field cage and hauled off with our unconscious guardians. The situation was less than ideal. [b]Merv:[/b] Where do you think they're taking us? [b]Gibbs:[/b] Does it matter? They're going to kill us when we get there anyway. [b]Merv:[/b] Well maybe they'll let us go. We're not that important. [b]Ratchet:[/b] We revive Guardians, Merv. They're not going to just let us go. [b]Gibbs:[/b] We need to think of a plan. [b]Merv:[/b] Oh good I love plans. [b]Gibbs:[/b] For the last time.. Shut. UP. Merv. The Cabal took us to their military's forward base of operations en route to the Buried City. They threw us in the holding cell with our guardians and locked the door. The locks were un-pickable so no guard was posted. We weren't going anywhere any time soon. Ratchet and I began trying to formulate a plan. Merv had his own input not but it was mostly ignored. After a while our guardians began to stir. [b]Harley:[/b] Uhhhnnnn, my head. Where the hell are we? [b]Ratchet:[/b] The Cabal forward base of operations. [b]Harley:[/b] Well, shit. That puts a damper on the evening. Teddy. Teddy! Wake up! [b]Teddy:[/b] Mmehhhh. Owwww, -blam!-ing space turtle assholes. Ugh.. Hand me a water bottle would ya? [b]Harley:[/b] Oh yeah, sure let me just dig it out of my pack that the Cabal totally didn't take before throwing us in here. [b]Teddy:[/b] Soooooo.... [b]Harley:[/b] I was being facetious, dumbass. No I don't have any water. [b]Teddy:[/b] Great. Why don't they just cut off my scrotum while they're at it? [b]Harley:[/b] Careful what you wish for. We gotta find a way outta here. Ratchet, tell me you've got a plan. [b]Ratchet:[/b] Gibbs and I have got a few ideas. [b]Merv:[/b] What about me? [b]Ratchet, Harley, Gibbs, and Teddy:[/b] Shut. Up. Merv. [b]Harley:[/b] Alright, let's go over the plan. See if we can't get out of this fly infested hellhole. [i]Up next- Episode 4: A Line in the Sand[/i] https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/113787831/0/0