***WARNING***
Contains strong language and suggestive themes that may not be appropriate for children.
[u]Episode 1: Strangers in the Tavern[/u]
It was an odd sight to see as I and the other ghosts hovered over the scene. A Titan, a Warlock, and a Hunter having drinks together and joyfully talking of their adventures. Usually the 3 classes are bickering over which one of them has the most skill in combat or who's clothing is the prettiest. My guardian, Teddy, was nearing the end of his epic tale of his experiences in the Dark Below....
[b]Teddy:[/b]....So we get back to the tower after beating Crota's ass, right. And I go tell Eris about our success and she goes- "I wish I could have been there to see Crota fall." And I'm like- "Well, tough shit, should have brought a better fireteam."
[b]Winston:[/b] God she's annoying as balls. We get it woman. You lost and you're still salty about it. Just shut up and give me my goddamn heavy synths.
[b]Harley:[/b] That's another thing. 5 black wax idols for 1 -blam!-ing heavy synth? Come on. You know how hard it is to get those? She should, she spent years down there hiding out like a little pussy. Just to come back with no eyes and inadequate information.
[b]Winston:[/b] Tell me about it. I guess you can't really blame her for jackin her prices so high though. This economy is in the toilet.
[b]Teddy:[/b] For real dude. Went to Lord Saladin the other day for a shotgun and he's like "That'll be 11,750 glimmer please." I about crapped a Dreg. 11,750 glimmer. Greedy ass.
[b]Winston:[/b] Right? I'll be damned if I'm gonna spend 9,500 on a pair of boots that don't even increase my heavy ammo reserve. What a joke.
[b]Harley:[/b] Speaking of jokes, you boys seen Rahool lately? I gave that asshat 6 purple engrams to decode and you know what he gave me back? Shards. [i]Shards[/i] dude. He keeps doin that shit to me I'm gonna have to stick a knife in his eye socket.
[b]Teddy:[/b] Oh hey check this out. I found this mark out in the Cosmodrome yesterday and it came with this badass knife.
[b]Winston:[/b] I thought you Titans didn't use knives. I thought you were all PunchyMcOrbMachines?
[b]Teddy:[/b] We don't. I just thought it looked good with my gear.
[b]Harley:[/b] Seriously? My cloaks don't come with knives and I'm a Hunter for shit sakes. Wtf? If you're not gonna use it why don't you just give it to me?
[b]Teddy:[/b] Did you not just hear what I said? Its badass and it compliments my look.
[b]Winston:[/b] How? If you never use it, and everyone knows you're not gonna use it, then you just look like a jackass with it strapped to your butt towel.
[b]Teddy:[/b] Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize my utility choices were going to get me into an argument about looks with a damn Warlock of all people.
[b]Winston:[/b] What's that supposed to mean?
[b]Harley:[/b] He means your trench coat dresses and shiny armbands make you look kinda gay.
[b]Winston:[/b] It's better than your pansy ass little red riding hood cape.
[b]Harley:[/b] At least when I dress like a girl it makes sense because I am one. Fairy boy.
[b]Winston:[/b] You wanna go, bitch?
[b]Harley:[/b] Bring it floof-master.
As Winston and Harley duked it out on the bar floor, I turned to my guardian to see if he was going to join in the scrap. He simply shrugged and turned back to his drink, chuckling at the fact that they were fighting over something that he himself had started.
[b]Teddy:[/b] Hey bartender! What's a Titan gotta do to get a bowl of popcorn around here?
[i]To be continued[/i]
Episode 2
https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/113410680/0/0
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truly original and superb, brilliant