[spoiler]Before we start, I want to say, I didn't write this. A friend of mine, Mr. Kay did because I'd always bug him and ask "Where's the Biscuit". That being said, Enjoy.[/spoiler]
It was Saturday night, can't remember what, but things had happened. I was walking the streets in the dark with nothing but a jar of fire flies to light my way. I needed somewhere to go, something to eat, or else I would die of hunger.
The first establishment I came across was the beautiful Golden Arches. I begged for a hamburger, a nugget, finally, desperate enough, a single French Fry. They rejected me and sent me on my way again.
Second place I came to was an Olive Garden. Unlimited soup salad and breadsticks! Surely they could give me something! I walked up to the building, the smell of delicious breadsticks wafting through the air. I could taste the salad in my mouth as I approached, they were extending the breadsticks towards me. I reached out to take one, but the hostess just began beating me with it. I quickly got the message, gathered my jar of fire flies, and went on my way.
The next place I came to was fancy, so fancy I couldn't even pronounce the name. I knew it was a long shot, but it was the only shot I had. I stumbled through the door…
…into the arms of the biggest man gorilla you had ever seen. He kicked me out, smashing the jar of fire flies. As my only light source dispersed, so did my hope. I tripped into the darkness once more.
Hopeless and nearly dead, I stumbled through the dark. I tripped and fell on a short flight of stairs. I looked up and could barely make out a porch, a door, even though it wasn't even five feet in front of me. I regained a final burst of energy, and I barreled through the unlocked door.
Now sprawled out on the ground, I looked up in front of me, down a dimly lit hallway, and into the kitchen. My energy reserves almost empty now I ran into the kitchen, leaning on the counter to stabilize me. On the counter were two things, a buttery, golden brown biscuit, still miraculously warm and steaming, sitting on a pristine white napkin. The other item was a photograph, a photograph of the pokemon Serperior and BioSmiley, but I only had eyes for the biscuit.
I carefully grasped it, lifting it delicately to my mouth, smelling the pastry. This was heaven. I meant to savor it, eat it slowly and enjoy every bite, but I didn't. I ate the entire thing in 1.82 seconds, leaving nothing behind, not even a crumb.
Now well nourished I finally saw the picture. I delicately picked it up, hands shaking. The shaking became violent and I dropped the picture, it shattering into a thousand crystals. I heard stirring upstairs in the bedroom, two people talking and getting up. Ashamed of what I had done, I ran out of the house before anyone could catch me in the act. I dived into a car, not caring what happened anymore.
Dawn was breaking when the car finally stopped. I climbed out and yelled to the cabbie "Yo Holmes, smell ya later". I looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air.
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Wtf did i just read