{{
`${userDetail.user.displayName}${userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode ? `#${standardizeBungieGlobalCode(userDetail.user.cachedBungieGlobalDisplayNameCode)}` : ""}`}}
{{getUserClans()}}
originally posted in:CentauriAlpha Fan Fiction
Edited by wallr:
4/1/2015 2:24:10 AM
5
The Vex Research Episode 1: "The Research Begins" PROLOGUE
[b]EPISODE ONE[/b]
"Dr. Shim! Security breach detected! Intruders, Security Protocol 19."
Dr. Shim replied " Lock the doors, open the secret door, and shut down."
"Yes, Dr. Shim."
The warlock quickly exited from his secret escape hatch. Right after, the Vex had entered the lab, tried to hack in, failed, and left. The Vex Minotaur left last, allowing Shim to quickly snipe him, breaking out the vex form. In confusion and anger, the vex quickly retreated.
"Computer, log on."
C.I.H*Computer Information Handler* replied "Vex? That is bad, yet good."
"I know C.I.H! The vex need information, yet they just gave us intelligence! Analyze the Vex Minotaur."
"Yes Dr. Shim."
[b]AUTHORS NOTE[/b]
Wow! My first fanfic! I will make more of these, so add help, if you want.
-
Even though it is short, I think it has a nice twist. Pretty cool
-
2 RepliesIt should be spelled "Prologue." And it is somewhat short, I think a little too short...just some tips for next time: Make sure the narrative is being driven by plot. As of now, I have no idea what's going on other than having a vague understanding of who Dr. Shim is. Also, when writing dialogue, you have to write who's saying what, I was kind of confused. Ummm other than that, I think this has great potential to be a good story!!! Dr. Shim and the Archive fascinate me greatly. Great job! :)
-
quite short. I think this could be made into an amazing story
-
1 ReplyTitle is spelt incorrectly. It should be "Research" not "Reaserch" It's pretty good though.
-
