Eagle Scout, student body president, and regular blood donor Mike Brown was on his way back from his volunteer shift at the soup kitchen when suddenly Neo-Na.zi #$%$ Grand Wizard and climate-skeptic Darren Wilson saw the glow of his halo. He stepped out of his gas guzzling Hummer and made chase. Mike Brown, weighed down by his backpack full of Nobel Peace Prizes and handwritten letters to grandma, was soon overtaken by the Aryian Nation Member. The only escape was across the street, but alas, there was no crosswalk. Faced with certain death or breaking the law, the straight A student made his last stand. He attempts to reason with his attacker but the illiterate racist murderer only has ears for white supremacy speeches and Mein Kampf passages. "Any last words?" said Darren Wilson through a mouthful of chewing tobacco. Mike Brown looks his executioner in the eye, puts his hands up clearly indicating his surrender and says "World Peace". "Screw Black People!" shouts Darren Wilson as he unloads his fully automatic assault rifle. If not for the Republican Party he may have survived, but the skinhead's extended high capacity magazine, unfettered by their legislation unloads hundreds of rounds into the Harvard bound, endangered species advocate.