There's plenty of range in American English. Saying there's not makes you sound as ignorant as you claim the OP is.
Cultural
African American Vernacular English (AAVE)
Chicano English
New York Latino English
Pennsylvania Dutch English
Yeshivish
Yinglish
Hawaiian Pidgin[6]
Regional
New England English
Northeastern: Boston accent
Southeastern (Rhode Island)
Northwestern (Vermont)
Southwestern (Connecticut)
Boston Brahmin accent
Hudson Valley English
Mid-Atlantic dialects
Baltimore accent
Philadelphia English
New York dialect
New Jersey English dialects
Inland Northern American English (Lower Peninsula of Michigan, northern Ohio and Indiana, Chicago, part of eastern Wisconsin and upstate New York)
Northeast Pennsylvania English
Upper Midwest American English (Minnesota, North Dakota, South Dakota, Wisconsin, the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, and parts of Iowa)
Yooper dialect (Upper Peninsula of Michigan and some neighboring areas)
Midland American English (central United States)
North Midland (Kansas City, Omaha, Columbus, Ohio, and Indianapolis)
St. Louis
Cincinnati
Pittsburgh English
South Midland (Kentucky, Southern Indiana, Southern Illinois, southern Missouri, Arkansas, southern Kansas, and Oklahoma)
Miami accent
Southern American English
Appalachian English
Tidewater accent[7]
Harkers Island English (North Carolina)
Ocracoke
Gullah
Ozark English
Texan English
Yat dialect (New Orleans)
Cajun English
Southwestern dialects
New Mexican English
Western American English
California English
Boontling
Pacific Northwest English
English
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Cajun and texan FTW!!!! Lol ;)
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Damn man, that comprehensive of a list and you left off the great city of Chicago. Here, the vernacular and accent is most often categorized as "just straight cool and/or dope" by historians. True story.