Hi there, and welcome to this thread. Continue reading to find out why [b]YOU[/b] might just be the worst thing to happen to this Community, or if you are considered Royally Blue.
Before entry, I'm just going to need to see your Membership Year badge in order to grant you access.
Whoa, hold the phone there, scrub! That's just a dirty Six Year badge you got there. You know what that means? You're bad and you should feel bad. No amount of Dragon threads would ever allow me to accept you for the monstrosity that you are. No sir!
Hi there, folks. Some of you fine people might know me here as Helveck. And I've come to deliver a message:
It's time to restore things to the finer days. It's time to bring back the Elitism of old. The days when we were free to walk on the lesser creatures here that called themselves "Members", "Heroic Members" and "Legendary Members" have returned. This new standard has been implemented and officiated by yours truly! And if you're a member with 6 Years or less on this site, and in this forum... Just know one thing:
You're trash.
That's right, you're a disappointment and an inferior specimen.
This forum was once ripe with incredible and superior individuals. Their words allowed this place to shine, and brought to life the truest form of beauty and majesty that my eyes had ever seen. And most importantly, we kept the lower beings in their place... Way down in the dirt where they belong.
So, in order to clearly divide the classes, I think it's appropriate to devise a set of rules for each population.
[b]New Age Mythics[/b] [i](Seven years or more)[/i]:
[b]1.[/b] Every forum entry must clearly state in some way, your superior nature to everyone around you.
[b]2.[/b]If a lesser being argues with you, remind them that they do not posses a Membership Badge above Seven Years and as such, all words in which they speak are simply mindless ramblings that no one cares about.
[b]3.[/b] It is your right as a New Age Mythic to tell the lesser people how pointless their threads are, and how they are nothing but a plague on his Community.
[b]4.[/b] Remind lesser people that in addition to their inferior intellectual capabilities, that they will also never be as beautiful as you are.
[b]5.[/b] If the lesser creatures do not flatter you and shower you with compliments, gifts, and gift baskets (usually a combination of crackers, wines and assorted cheeses) PM Moderators and Mentors immediately to rectify this situation. If that does not work, PM Achronos or DeeJ.
[b]6.[/b] If you make a thread a post, and one of the lesser kinda makes a reply directed at you, simply ignore them. Never quote them and never give them any attention. Doing this would deceive them into thinking they possess something relevant to share, when we all know this is simply not true.
[b]7.[/b] You know what? Just mute them. Mute all of them. Not a member with 7+ Years? Yup, muted.
[b]New Age Inferiors[/b] (Six years or less):
[b]1.[/b] Don't post.
[b]2.[/b] If you're dumb enough to break rule #1, immediately PM every member with a badge that is Seven Years or older and apologize for your insolence while also stating that you have learned the error of your ways.
[b]3.[/b] If you STILL feel compelled to post for whatever asinine reason, simply remember that you must always quote and agree with whatever a certain New Age Mythic might be saying. The comfort here is knowing that we are never wrong.
[b]4.[/b] Did you post something stupid? That's ok, we expect that from you! Simply PM Achronos asking him to permanently delete your account, and for an added measure of safety, to ban your IP address. Have a nice holiday!
[b]5.[/b] Whether on the bus, or at your computer desk... If you enter a thread and you see a New Age Mythic, remember to display your reverence by grovelling before us. Make sure that nose touches the ground! We don't want you half-assing this now!
[b]6.[/b] Know that you [i]are[/i] bad. And you're only getting six shitty rules for your six shitty years (If that).
Well, that's all for now folks! Hopefully with these new rules in place, we can all work together towards making this a better, and far superior area of this site. A place where we can once again bask in the glory of our own greatness.
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I find this very funny lol nice post!
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[b] [/b]
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This is some good old fashioned elitism. God damn it, I missed you guys
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My new goal in life is to get a link to this thread as the top definition of "Testosterone" on Urban Dictionary.
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A true Mythic would have know that #7 is always darker.
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I'm going to accept this as sarcasm/satire and move on.
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Looks I joined at the perfect time then. This way I can be better than those New Age Inferiors. Also, Helveck threads are the best threads and we need more #dragons.
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Oh I weep at the thought of, (If only these "superior specimens" had any authority over me) Get over yourself. People like you make this community total shit.
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All those years playing video games? (Aka toys). Keep it real.
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Dang I miss your being around here.
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The only gifts you're getting showered with is rogaine.
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I don't mind being a plebian, but I'm the official tribune which means I don't obey rule #1. Anyone who disagrees has broken rule #1 and has therefore revoked their status as both a bungie member and a human being.
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Noobs running around dreaming of dragons and making rules and stuff. Kids these days..
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'04 or bust. #shackershaveshisbutt
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#inb4'04orbust
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Way to be bring my hopes down
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Lol, You are actually garbage. Wasting all of your life on bungie forums? I think that makes YOU the trash.
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*breaks rule number 1*
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But I was a Heroic member.
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Just made the cut off. [u]brushes off shoulder [/u]
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This reeks of the fear of progress. Fear of social circumstances is what makes a man inferior. You may very well do as you please; and cling to ways of old. But just know, you'll be left behind with it.
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I guess it must be human nature to be superior over others, but in the forums...... 8 year member here This ideaology in every way is just wak. Why not add a rule sending all inferiors to labor camps and exterminate them so that the master race of 7+ members can thrive in peace. Beauty was in the forum is in the past. There is a new age that has come with destiny. One we dont like as i guess you could say "seasoned veterans". No one likes change but i mean we all have to live within the means. I moved on and completely accepted what has come to be. No need to re write the past as if it was perfect because it sure as hell wasnt. By the way if anyone can help me out with linking my other account to this 1 year badge then that would be great.
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Feels good to be mythic. Bow down newfomans.
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#satire is missing Or youre a dipstick. I cant tell honestly.. Oh wait im only a 4 year member.. Better quit. Get over yourselves, its a forum, not a friggin country club.
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My sides. They hurt. I am a lesser being. All hail the new age mythics.
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I think I'll just put my feet up and see how this thread plays out. Thing is, I stepped in something rancid on the way here, and I don't want to funk up my footrest. I'll need the nearest 8-Year pleb front and center immediately.