I am awakened in the morning by my alarm clock at the appropriate time as regulated by the US congress and kept accurate by the national institute of standards and technology and the US naval observatory, a clock powered with the electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the US department of energy. I groggily rise out of bed and stumble into the shower to bathe myself in clean water provided by the municipal water utility using soap approved by the department of consumer affairs. As I dry myself I flip on the TV to one of the FCC regulated channels to see what the national weather service of the national oceanographic and atmospheric administration determined the weather was going to be like using satellites designed, built, and launched by the national aeronautics and space administration. I then proceed to eat my breakfast composed mostly of derivatives of subsidized corn, inspected by the US department of agriculture and take my allergy drugs, both of which have been determined as safe by the food and drug administration.
Thanks to the Cash for Clunkers program I then get into my national highway traffic safety administration approved automobile, having been licensed to do so by the state, and set out to my public school on the roads built by the local, state, and federal departments of transportation, possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the environmental protection agency, using legal tender issued by the federal reserve bank. Using the GPS system designed by the navy and maintained by the department of defense I check that I am, in fact, on the correct course. On the way back from public school I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the US postal service.
I then begin spending another day not being maimed or killed at work thanks to the workplace regulations imposed by the department of labor and the occupational safety and health administration, enjoying another two meals which again do not kill me because of the USDA, and recive a check for most of what I earned, some of which is saved for me so that when I retire I don't have to worry as much because I'll have social security. I drive my NHTSA car back home on the DOT roads, to my house which has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and fire marshal's inspection, and which has not been plundered of all it's valuables thanks to the local police department. I decided to talk a jog on the city sidewalks past the city fire hydrants, city sewers, and garbage left out by my neighbors to be picked up by city sanitation workers to the city park conserved by the department of conservation. Afterward, I'm feeling tired so I take the city bus back to my home.
I get a call from my grandparents who would otherwise not have a phone line if not for the Federal Universal Service, and they tell me they are thankful that between Medicare and Medicaid their prescriptions will be taken care of. After that I call my cousin who recently injured himself to find that he is on welfare while he can't work, so he doesn't need to look to charity from me or other family members.
I find I need to unwind after this busy day so I turn on the TV again, only to find myself watching the news coverage of the government soldiers sent to Iraq and Afghanistan. I then log on to the internet which was developed by the defense advanced research projects administration and post on bungie.net and fox news forums about how SOCIALISM is BAD because the government can't do anything right.
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What's McDonald's slogan again? "I'm lovin' it" (joke in itself).