Original here: http://www.bungie.net/7_The-Ultimate-Flood-Showdown-Good-Read/en/Forum/Post?id=61889006#referred-OffTopic (Offtopic) And so it continues: Emmamas set out on a personal journey of conquest, cutting his (her?) way through the troll army, arriving in Verbatim's house of anti-natalism. "The door is too damn high!". Emmamas broke down the door, got Verbatim on the floor, and forced him to do the mother-blam!-ing dinosaur while Emmamas disemboweled him. Legion sacrificed himself to give all of the Floodians' alts free will, increasing their fighting capabilities by 200% (for those of you too stupid to do math, that's 3 times the power than the Floodians had before). The alts, led by Onion Beetle, rejoiced and began to 'splode JOHN CENAs left and right. Petarded created insanity threads, blowing the evil alts' minds. Every single one's brain exploded into mush upon entering the thread. Petarded's threads became troll killhouses. Shadroxon produced a legendary auto-axe from his stash of images. As he revved the thing up, an image of Ahsoka’s bare ass cut through his right shoulder. He grunted in pain, but swung his axe up and around in a whirring circle of death, slicing through Lemur’s fapping hand. Lemur With A Hat screamed in sadness, unable to adequately pleasure himself ever again. He fled and was never seen again. Meanwhile the battle raged on in System 32. JOHN CENA had hacked his way into the System 32 folder of every bnetter's account and linked them to make his destruction much easier, giving full control of the operation to Camnator while he battled the Ninjas of Bungie. Unfortunately for him, this meant that the Flood could all attack together. A team made up of Zizou, Plasma Eagle, Blonic, Iberian Husky, and Box Dweller hit Camnator's army of alts with the force of a slingshot catapulting them into the sun. The booties vaporized and Camnator's infinite supply of weed and anarchy was exhausted. "I guess you're not the funniest member on Bungie.net," said Husky, as Zizou and Blonic closed in, internet arguments at the ready. Camnator began using damage control. "It is YOU who are the fools!" he screamed. "When did you rename yourself to YOU?!" He began to hyperventilate as Box Dweller produced an iron box with which to smash his head in. A sickening crunch echoed through the bloody, war-torn battlefield, and all was quiet. Gojira began to close on JOHN CENA. Superman flew in from above and they combined their laser beams to focus fire upon his weak spot (his taint). However, before they could do much damage, JOHN CENA's specially-made alt-creation program kicked in, launching thousands of alts at them. The alts began to scream. "PLOT HOLE!" The eerie words echoed through the two nigh-omnipotent's minds. "PLOT HOLE! PLOT HOLE! PLOT HOLE!" Gojira and Kal began to reel underneath their only weakness. "PLOT HOLE! PLOT HOLE! PLOT HOLE!" The two collapsed into unconsciousness, their last sight an infinite swarm of JOHN CENAs. Luckily for the two, Maluki and Vien had time to recharge. Joined by Zoid, they cut a bloody path through the horde, desperately trying to save the two role-players. Zoid unleashed his final form, saying mean things before the trolls could inb4Zoidsayssomethingmean. Huge Shibes spawned out of the gates of Heil, trampling, biting, and tearing through the ranks, accompanied by their odd sayings. Wow Such carnage Wow Much destruction of JOHN CENA So hero Zoid laughed as his hellhound Shibes finished their murderous rampage through the OpFor. The ground was soaked red with blood for miles around, images of horny aliens, Shibes, and gay dragons celebrating their victory. But one foe yet stood. JOHN CENA himself, his IP wrapped around him in protection, hyperlinks dripping from his reddened hands. Hands reddened by the death of many newfags and users. Hands reddened with the blood of many a fallen member. Scorch, , Plasma Eagle, RC5908, Vien, Maluki, , RomanGladiator7, AudaciousFan192, Solonoid, Gojira, Charlie, TheChimichanga, Greekian, Iberian Husky, WinyPit, Alpha Zero, Hargbeast, Mentlegan, Zizou, Gruntzilla, The Tempun, Elegiac, A Stolen Fruit, Shadroxon, Emmamas, A ToplessZombie, The Suede Uzi, OneToughGuy, Bang Ding Ow, Rampant, Zoid, The Mythic Wolf, Tilted The Wolf, R o b o t, Raven, Zuuru, Saleem, AReallyGrayHumor, Silent Bob, abba61, King of Flood, Genxral, Daniel Bryan (some wrestler), and Nul Arc (a knight from the future!) all stood together, ready for the inevitable battle. Many would die. Many would have to create alts to eventually undo the damage. Many could get IP banned during the battle, or muted. But they stood together anyways, in the name of their shared hope for one Flood, united under Achronos, with jokes and funny gifs for all. The end was near. Tune in next thread for the final battle. I'll probably continue with other Flood Showdowns if you guys request any. Feel free to request a battle. Any member, any time, any place. I'll write it. This has been fun.