Alright guys, gather round. It's time for another one of my dirty secrets to be revealed. I want to start by saying that this all happened a long time ago, and I feel that I have greatly matured since the event in question. Please bear with me, as it's a long story, and I've been needing to get this off my chest for some time, now.
It all began in the Christmas holidays of 2009. Being in Australia, we got 3 months off school to enjoy the summer heat. Now, my family has a kind of ritual where most of my Dad's siblings get together for Christmas. As my Grandma had passed away recently, we all travelled across the country to get to the funeral, and all of my uncles and aunts made the trip with their families, too.
This was where I first met the majority of my cousins, as Dad had 10 siblings in all, with only a handful attending the previous family reunions. There were a few guys older than me, so naturally I hung out with them to try and fit in with the "cool crowd," as I was 13 and still worried about looking trendy.
After we had all been acquainted, we went out for dinner, which went for a couple of hours, and most of my cousins were planning on going to a party afterward. My Dad was fine with me going, reasoning that I needed to learn for myself how to behave in that atmosphere. However, I was a little nervous, as I was easily the youngest, and I didn't want to make myself seem like a loser. Needless to say, I tried very hard to seem nonchalant on the way to the party.
When we arrived at the house, I was astonished; this place was properly huge. I mean gigantic. It was one huge mansion, and I started to get excited about how good the party was going to be. We went inside and the group pretty much split up instantly, leaving me by myself. I decided not to worry and just have a good time, wandering over to a group of 18-ish year olds who were chatting away.
They told me I looked a little small to be there, but thankfully my voice had dropped long before then, and I tried to remain a little aloof so as not to come across desperate, and they quickly seemed to take a liking to me. I had never done this type of thing before, but I decided I liked it, and just floated between groups of strangers to make friends, and everybody seemed pretty chill.
A bit later on, things settled down a bit, and food was getting passed around. I was really hungry by then, so I grabbed a couple of brownies as the plate was passed by. At this point, most of the people I had introduced myself to, almost in unison, stopped what they were doing to look at me as I ate. The brownies tasted a little funny, but they were good anyway, and as I had been diagnosed with hypersensetive taste, smell and touch as a child, I passed it off as nothing, so I didn't see what the fuss was about.
It wasn't long before I started to feel all warm and fuzzy, and my thinking turned all strange. I couldn't contain myself and started giggling uncontrollably, prompting a roar of laughter from everybody around me. I was still unaware that I had been given Hash brownies, and I was having too much fun at this point to care. I was soon offered a drink, which I am now convinced was spiked. Not wanting to be "that guy," I accepted it. My first ever taste of beer hit me in the face with all the subtlety of a brick to the jaw, it was intensely bitter, but I didn't outwardly react, probably because of how baked I was.
The next few hours are a blur, and all I remember was feeling awful, which is why I believe the drink was spiked. I'm sure I was given multiple "special" drinks after that, too. In this mess of memories, however, I do remember that I had sex with somebody, and that it was too dark or I was too drugged to see her face and defining features properly.
The next afternoon when I finally woke up, I walked back to the hotel we were staying at, feeling absolutely awful. It was extremely hot, which normally didn't bother me, but I assumed the hangover really took a toll on me. I vowed to keep the night's events a secret, as I was certain that even a Dad as calm as mine wouldn't react well to the news of his 13 year old son doing drugs and having sex.
The next 6 months passed uneventfully, until we visited my Aunt's place. All of my cousins there had attended the party, and one of them who was a few years older than me looked pregnant, and my heart immediately sank, until I realised I had worn a condom and put it on properly, and that my other cousins would've at least looked out for me enough to prevent an incestual encounter from happening. She was convinced that the kid was mine, but she kept this to herself until we could talk alone.
We argued in private for a good hour about who the Father was, until finally, I'd had enough. I stormed out of the house and went to the road.
I whistled for a cab and when it came near
The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror
If anything I could say that this cab was rare
But I thought 'Nah, forget it' - 'Yo, homes to Bel Air'
I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8
And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later'
I looked at my kingdom
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air
-
"BWAHAHAHAHHAAAAA" you got me gooooooood!