I want the power to punch people through the internet
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Useless Superpowers: Being able to teleport only 1 foot at a time. Turning into the hulk, but only while you're asleep. Only being able to fly North. Read Minds, but only when somebody is thinking of something really nasty. X-ray vision that only lets you see through the top layer of clothes. Are these good? Let me know and keep adding useless powers!