To those who contributed to the discussion positively or negatively, thank you. I chose to remove the original post because...well...my point was proven. In just the few responses garnered over the 3 or so hours this post existed, the point was painstakingly proven. This isn't the 1st forum I posted it, as I was conducting a bit of a social experiment. If you're interested in seeing the post as a whole, message me and I'll send you a link to one of the ongoing discussions on other forums. This thread can be closed.
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tl:dr. I'll go ahead and assume two things tho. #1 you have too much time on your hands. #2 this is the wrong place