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Edited by Atticus:
4/11/2015 6:17:18 PM
490
You laugh, you cringe; you lose
It's time for another thread that shows us the beautiful side of humanity; if you laugh, cringe, facepalm or smash your face against the keyboard (o the other way around) you lose this little game.
Also feel free to contribute to this thread.
I'd also like to set a main topic for this thread; social criticism - send in anything that shows the more... crooked views of today's society. Be it education, fundamentalism or politics. (The classics like your typical fedora tippers or Coldsteel the hedgehogs are still allowed.)
[Edit]: Changed the title due to the reception of this thread. Apparently we all have been on the Internet long enough that the stuff depicted here just makes us laugh and not worry.
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1 ReplyProper British grit and determination
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Edited by True_Canadian: 11/16/2015 7:11:26 PM1. What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer? I give a **** when my computer crashes. 2. My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support. 3. What do you call a five year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor. 4. Jesus Christ fed 2,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, but Adolf Hitler made 6 million Jews toast. 5. What's the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message. 6. What's got 5 arms, 3 legs and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon. 7. What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? GLOVES! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present. 8. How do Ethiopians celebrate their kids first birthday? By putting flowers on the grave. 9. How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles. 10. How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up. 11. Why do Mexicans never have Sex Ed. and Driver's Ed. on the same day? They have to give the donkey a break at some point. 12. Feminism 13. So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back… Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient. 14. Most black 15 year-olds in this country are decent, law abiding citizens. It's their kids who cause all the trouble. 15. How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything. 16. What is a pedophiles favorite part about Halloween? Free delivery. 17. So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster… Now it doesn't work. 18. How do you kill a redneck? Wait 'till he ***** his sister then cut the brakes on his house. 19. What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer? Freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out. 20. What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing you already done told her twice. 21. How do you fit 4 queers on a barstool? Flip it upside-down. 22. Why do Jews have big noses? Because air is free. 23. What happened when the jew walked into the wall with a hard-on? He broke his nose. 24. How long does it take for a black woman to take a **** ? Nine months. 25. How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altarboy. 26. What do you call 40 mexicans buried up to their neck in sand? A spicket fence. 27. How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None,they just sit in the dark and bitch. 28. Did you hear about the two car pile up in Mexico? 200 Mexicans died. 29. What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A pedophile. 30. What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the First Period. 31. How do you swat 200 flies at one time? Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan. 32. What is a redneck virgin? A seven year old that can run faster than her brothers. 33. How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? One, she just holds the bulb to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her. 34. Girls are like blackjack… I'm trying to go for 21 but I always hit on 14. 35. Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand up. 36. Did you hear the Score of the Egypt vs Ethiopia soccer game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't. 37. How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? They don't. They arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being black. 38. What's 9 inches long, pink, and makes my girlfriend scream when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage. 39. A Jew, a black, and a Muslim are on a frozen lake, not talking to each other, so I thought I would go over there and break the ice. 40. What's difference between dollars and Jews? I'd give a **** if I lost 6 million dollars. 41. How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked. 42. Whats the difference between George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin? Zimmerman knew how to dodge a bullet. 43. One time I ****** this chick so hard, she almost came back to life 44. I don't understand why Obama has to give his speeches behind bullet proof glass. I mean,I know he's black and all, but I doubt he'll shoot anyone. 45. What's the difference between a Jew and harry potter? Harry can escape the chamber. 46. What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong. 47. Whats the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? A hockey player showers after 3 periods. 48. What's the difference between cancer and Black people? Cancer got Jobs. 49. What do Sarah Palin and Iron Man have in common? They both had a downey jr inside of them. 50. What's a word that white people can call white people, but black people can't call black people? Dad.
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11 Replies[i] [/i]
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3 RepliesLife is like a cabbage: Sometimes it is green and crunchy, sometimes dad stabs the cat with a knife because his foot ball team lose again Life is like a cabbage: sometimes it is green and round, and sometimes mom wish you were never born If you throw a cabbage in the air he will alway come right back down to you because he is lonely without you. If there is a fire in your house make sure you save all the cabbages before you even think about finding your children A cabbage does not wear a watch but he always have time for you Instead of drinking coffee in the morning try laying down with a cabbage on your stomach and you will be wide awake trust me If you push a cabbage under water he will alway float right back up to the top because he miss you so much A cabbage does not have ears but that does not mean that he is immune to your lies Some time you think about a cabbage and you get so excited that forget to go to sleep again for five days Sometimes you hate your life and dont want to be alive anymore but then you think about cabbage and know that everything will be ok You can paint a cabbage green but that is a waste of paint because he is already green you idiot If you run out of pillows maybe try using a cabbage You can tell a cabbage has gone bad if he is wearing a leather jacket if you are sad put a cabbage in your back pack and carry him every where so it feel like you have a friend that want to spend time with you A cabbage is so pretty but you are real ugly You can ask a cabbage for financial advice but he will not say any thing because he is a cabbage You can put a cabbage on the hood of your car. People will not under stand what you are doing but at least you are doing some thing If you put plastic eyeballs on a cabbage and take him to the movies it might feel like you have a friend I hate my life Dr. Suess did not ever make a poem about cababge And now he is dead A cabbage can not get pregnant believe me I tried You can put a cabbage in a baby carriage amd take him for a walk and people will say "who this" and you can say "he is my cabbaby" If you want to trick your parents put a cabbage on your pillow at night and they will think you are sleeping but you are actually crying
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11 Replies
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Because you opened this. you will get kissed on Friday by the person you love or like. Tomorrow will be the best day of your life. Do not break this chain. You have 2 minutes this is not a fake...apparently. Forward this to 15 people in the next 15 minutes and you WILL have the best day of your life tomorrow. You're number one crush will either KISS, ask you out, or call you. If you break this chain, the little girl named Kaitlyn who died 2 years ago on a car crash will be in your room TONIGHT! Good luck <<3, and your time starts, right know No Cheatin Haha
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4 Replies
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13 RepliesMy body shriveled into a prune after seeing this poor bastard.
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60 RepliesEdited by Evil Llama 171: 9/22/2015 9:54:55 PM[b][i][u] [/u][/i][/b]
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29 RepliesHey look! Its everyone's favorite hypocrites!
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6 RepliesFurries+MLP= Cringe
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37 Replies
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122 RepliesClassic tumblr attention whoring.
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23 Replies50 shades of yellow.
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3 Replies[b] [/b]
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13 Replies
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Alexis? Alexis Rhodes? DUEL ME
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17 RepliesFound this gem this morning. I really don't understand.
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LattymoyDriven anew. - old
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21 RepliesDis guy
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I laughed before I even clicked on this
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61 RepliesEdited by Mooka: 2/13/2015 10:58:53 PMTop lel
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33 Replies
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Edited by timelordlogan: 11/11/2015 2:18:40 AMHope you can uncringe http://funnyjunk.com/Worst+papercut/funny-gifs/4844155
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Necrobump
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95 RepliesFuture aspirations.
