Get 'er done.
Disclaimer: Try to stray away from well know Halo/Destiny quotes. They've already been done before, I can guarantee it.
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"And this jackhole runs at me with a spoon!! A frickin spoon! So I scoop out his eyes with it and his kids are all like 'omg aaaggghh daddy' and hes screamin and bumpin into stuff and... aaww man... well I guess you had to be there. Anyway moral of this story is that youre a total bitch!