If Deej could could answer to you truthfully,
Dear Destiny Player(s),
Rome was not built in a day. I think we should take a step back at what we have accomplished here.
We have released the most groundbreaking game ever in terms of gameplay and player cooperation on Next-Gen Consoles. Also. I think Bungie has learned a harsh lesson from Destiny's reviews. We learned not to let them publish the reviews so goddamn early. Next time we will make it a "rule" not to do that review thing early. That lost us our bonus money from Activision. We lost like 2.5 million in employee bonuses because of that stuff. :)
But to be honest with you, we still made a killing and we are laughing all the way to the bank. We are so rich in fact, that we took extra time off for Christmas just so we can booze, and -blam!- as many expensive escorts as we could. We are talking Hollywood style, high paid girls with real pretty faces, at least $2000/hour. I am so -blam!-ing rich bro. You think I give a -blam!-? We are swimming in your money like Scrooge McDuck!
Also I would like to add:
Thank you for all your hard earned praise of Destiny. It has been a big year for Bungie. We finally spread our wings and removed the collar Microsoft has put on us, I really feel good about that. Free. What a feeling! And then Activision clamped a collar on us so tight we can hardly breathe. But Hey. It is what it is. "You breathe when I tell you to breathe." Ok Bobby Kotick, no worries, just don't fire me. Please? I'd be in trouble. I don't want to go back to the Bing.com dungeons or as Microsoft called it Bang.com. They are dark and scary. And Bill Gates has this torture chair.. Oh god nooooo :( I mean, Bungie is my life, if I cannot keep up my lavish lifestyle, my wife will throw me on the street. Any real gaming company, would have fired me a long time ago. HEHE! We are pals righ Bobby? /Hug* /Wave* / Kiss*
Oh where was I?
Keep playing Crucible till the next expansion comes out. That's why we keep making changes on your weapons. To show that we care. They are in fact tiny tweaks at this point. AHAHA I bet you didn't know that. You guys are dumb as -blam!-
Become Legend!
- Deej Impersonator
P.S. Friendly reminder, this is a joke.
-
touche.. .seriously WHO IS PLAYING THIS? who is gonna play THIS FOR 10 YEARS or TRUST BUNGIE ? WHO?