originally posted in:Collective of Fanfiction
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Feel free to give me constructive criticism.
[url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/99812953/0/0]Chapter 1[/url]
[url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/100395643/0/0/1]Chapter 2[/url]
[url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/100701717/0/0]Chapter 3[/url]
[url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/100982039/0/0]Chapter 4[/url]
[url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/102027750]Chapter 5[/url]
[url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/127776786/0/0]Chapter 6[/url]
English
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I like it, the only things I don't like about it is the disconnect with characters by giving them animal names. I just can't feel the alien races give two shits about your name, you know? It just makes them feel distant to me like they're not who they claim to be. And while I understand it because it's the first chapter it feels a little rushed. Introducing the main cast like bear and tiger is important to be done soon, but just giving them names doesn't make them solid you know? Again this is only the first so there's still tons of room for the development to take place. Overall, I'm excited for the next chapter. I personally like to exist in the world of destiny and not break the borders, only push them, but this is intriguing. There is definitely room for a new unknown race, and I'm eager to learn more about them.