Dear "The Devil You Know",
It's been quite the journey we shared. I remember when I brought you home from the Vanguard, we were so young. I carried you through battles, decimating everything in our path; Fallen, Hive, Vex...you didn't care. Roughly 30,000 of my 50,000 kills were with hand cannons, I attribute that mostly to you TDYK. We journeyed to the crucible, and finally to Venus to destroy Atheon. And destroy Atheon we did, you worked so hard to demolish the detainment shields, and passed the torch to P&T to end him.
In fact, VoG is where we had some of our best times...although, it was on one of our trips that I met someone. Her name is Fatebringer, and I'm sorry but she is the one I've been waiting for all along. When I first got her, I tried to keep us close, but I began to learn more and more about her that confirmed I would be leaving you. I mean, Arc Damage, Firefly, AND Explosive Rounds? Really you should be honored to be replaced by a gun so beautiful. I think you two would get a long well actually, perhaps in another life.
So remember this as you sit in the Vault, you will always be remembered, and missed. Say hello to Univ. Remote, SGA, and TLW for me, but be sure they know you are better than they'll ever be.
Goodbye old friend.
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Mine had spray and play AND flared magwell. I didn't care about any other perk because I never stopped firing.