Meh. I had the desire when I was a kid. Asked me parents to bring me to church. And they did. Saw some pretty stained glass windows. Argued science with the Sunday school teacher. Thought the preacher was pretty nice. But every step of the way as I was trying to believe in this god I had heard about in school, it just felt like I was trying to force it. Building myself a narrative of spiritual epiphany so that I wouldn't go to hell or feel left out. Eventually seeking a sense genuine faith grew tiresome, and I moved on. My life hasn't really felt like it's been missing anything since then; I just find other things so much more fulfilling. In college as a literature major I of course read the bible cover to cover. And I've been deeply interested in various religious mythologies and their historical contexts for a long time. I thought the bible's contents were engaging in the same way the Illiad was engaging (at times anyway). But in terms of real life day to day application? There wasn't anything there for me. So, to recap: I sought God's presence, went to church, felt nothing whatsoever. I read every word of the bible and didn't find it particularly spiritually compelling. I think it's safe to say that religion, or at least Christianity, simply doesn't suit me. If there really is a god and he really wants my attention, he's had plenty of opportunities to get it, and he hasn't. So I've stopped waiting. At this point he'd have to make the effort-- send an angel or something. Because I don't waste my time or effort trying to reframe my mind around it anymore. Trying to believe in god is like brushing against the grain, there's nothing natural about it for me. Square peg round hole. The greatest sense of awe and fulfillment I've ever had was listening to the guys on Radiolab talk about physics and biology. That's something that really speaks to me in a deep way, gaining a fundamental understanding of how everything works and seeing all the surprises and beauty therein. Now of course I explain all of this with deep respect for the beliefs of others, but still i'd like to turn the question back on you: what would it take for you to abandon your faith?