Today, President Barak Obama declares Mr.Danny Devito to have the "worlds best" duck face. Earlier this morning the event was confirmed at a United Nations meeting with Barak Obama, Adolf Hitler, Michael Jackson, Osama Bin Laden, Michael Bay, even Elvis Presley, and many other foreign diplomats. Here, we have an exclusive interview with the president himself. So, Mr.President. [quote]Please, call me Papa O.[/quote] Ok, Papa O...How did you and other foreign diplomats come to the decision that Mr.Danny Devito has the worlds best duck face? [quote]Well, I has just gotten off the phone with the local KFC joint to get them to personally deliver me some fried chicken.[/quote] Wait...they do deliveries? [quote]Umm, no. I paid them a little extra, about two million dollars.[/quote] Two million? And where did this money come from? [quote]I just used the federal tax money that our citizens pay to the U.S. every year.[/quote] I see...and how does tha- [quote]let me just interrupt you for a minute there. I would like to add that the chicken was some of the greatest chicken I have [i]ever[/i] tasted.[/quote] I guess that's good to know. So getting back to the tax dolla- [quote]Oh yes. Danny Devito. [/quote] But what about- [quote]So I was on my Mac book looking for some gay black suicide porn, when a message from my friend George W. Bush came up. He said it was urgent and I needed to see this now. [/quote] I see... [quote]So I opened up the enclosed picture and there I saw it, the most beautiful duck face I had ever seen. I quickly asked Bush who this man was and he responded saying it was Danny Devito.[/quote] So you didn't necessarily find him? [quote]No, but as president i find it right to take credit for this recent phenomenon. [/quote] Oh, well I thi- [quote]So I quickly ate the rest of my fried chicken, scheduled U.N. meeting with some of this worlds best foreign diplomats and celebrities, and presented them with the notion.[/quote] And did they agree? Were there any problems? [quote]Well, Hitler did try to gas the leader of Israel and MJ over dosed but besides that, everything went well. [/quote] So how did you all come to the conclusion that Danny Devito had the worlds best duck face? [quote]Oh, I told everyone if they didnt agree, I would fire all of the United States nukes to every countries capital and main cities.[/quote] And I'm guessing everyone agreed due to not wanting to start a nuclear holocaust? [quote]Of coarse. Besides Hitler liking the idea of a holocaust, everyone else was very concerned. But wouldn't you rather vote for something instead of being completely obliterated?[/quote] I guess...? Well, thank you Mr.President- [quote]Papa O.[/quote] Yes. Thank you...Papa O, for that exclusive interview. Anything else you'd like to add before we rap up? [quote]Yes. The NSA, is [i]always[/i] watching.[/quote] Ok. Good to know. Up next, war lords in Afghanistan twerking? Stay tuned for another exclusive story. I'm Noble 6, and stay tuned for everything news, that's news.