Why? Why are we not allowed to have beards? What do you have against beards Bungie? You must have at least one person in your employment who has a bear. Does the Destiny team have something against people with beards? Do I smell beard discrimination? It is an audacity that at this point in time there are still those who believe that a beard is not necessary and I believe that it is balderdash, that's right BALDERDASH, that we bearded men, or possibly even women, do not have the right to a beard on our character.
By adding beards to our characters it will also create a more diverse character arch rather than just a bunch of clean shaven nancy boys. By having bears, there will be a more grizzled, mature audience. More people whom view video games at there current state as being childish and immature, will look onto the screen and see a coalition of rugged, space, mountain men and realize that what they have been calling immature and childish is 100% wrong making them also enjoy video games. It will also scare away people under the age of being allowed to play the game from joining. When a cleanly shaven, hairless faced boy logs into the game and sees facial hair among all those he/she wishes to troll, they will run back to their hidey hole of other pointless military shooters.
Along with the points I have previously made, Destiny is about making heroic characters that defy all odds in glory and adding beards to those heroes will make it 1000 times more heroic. Just look to the media, almost every hero known has had a beard: Wolverine, Cyrano, Tony Stark, Gandalf, Zorro, Mr. T, Tom Hanks, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Leonardo DiCaprio, Christov Walts, Wyatt Earp, that dude that walked through China, Ryan Gosling, Kimbo Slice, Jesus Christ, Oda Nobunaga, the cavemen, Walter White, Chuck Norris, and so many more.
And finally to you Bungie, a beard is not simply an accessory to one's face, it is a motto. A beard states that I am one who makes my own path, I am one who does not simply accept the rules, but questions them. I will not conform to a simple life nor to having a simple face, I will be what I want to be and do what I want to do. So please Bungie, give us beards, because beards are awesome, and people with beards are awesome, give us what we want, because it's what we deserve. Only we can choose our destiny, and my destiny is to be brave enough to ask you to give us a sacred manhood that we so very much deserve, thank you.
If you agree with me, be sure to share the message, all us bearded brethren... UNITE!
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Solution: Have Bungie and Activision make a partnership with Old Spice.